It's about time i'd be returning to Singapore. It's so wierd how people can be. Previously, when i was in HK, i wished to return to Singapore. But now tt time is up and i'm gg to return, i'm totally unenthusiastic about it. I do not want to return to the "jail". I have intention to move out of house when i return to Singapore. But i wonder if i am able to cos i haf a bad feeling that the person who likes to tie me dwn will never allow it. Sigh. I kinda feel lk staying in HK to work despite all the loneliness that i might end up wif. Guess i'm juz tired and i really feel lk running awae forever...

But i haf a verbal agreement about my job. Hence, i still haf to return to Singapore. Meanwhile, let me try to plan a wae to run out of the house. And i also haf planned a few thgs. Wanna learn some musical instrument or smthg. Cos i m bored. Mayb tk up driving lesson. Hmmm, or mayb go for some crisis relief work? And if i'm bored would fly awae again and find work somewhere?

Will my life ever stop revolving around running awae? sometimes juz feel so tired. Y can't i juz be happie and lead the life i want. Y can't people stop trying to run my life and irritate the hell out of me???!!! Sigh.

This is not the 1st and neither is this my 2nd month in HK. But this trip back to HK is miserable indeed. I don't know why but i feel so empty and lonely. I have no mood to do assignments. I just keep thinking of going back to Singapore. Maybe there're really people whom i miss back in Singapore. I hope my life can be reverted back to normal the moment i return to Singapore. But yet once again, everything might have changed when i return. The only constant in this world is change. So will the dream world of Serene ever come back again when she returns?

I think i m starting to feel depressive symptoms setting in. Think the lack of socialization is really bad for me. Mayb cos this sem i socialise even lesser with people. Cos everyone are more busy. Smtimes i juz wonder why God made me such a people orientated person? It's so miserable being so fearful of loneliness. If only i am a loner. Then maybe alot of things that affect me now will not affect me anymore.

Is the crying during the past few nights juz symptoms of PMS? Sigh.

Can't believe myself feeling bored in HK. Mayb as the saying goes "Grass is alwaz greener on the opposite side". Cannot help but tink that it's true. In Singapore when i was working, i yearn to come over to HK and stuyd. But now i m studying, i feel so stressed up by the tons of assignments and test. I din remember having so many assignments in school. Neither did i remembering feeling so stressed up by tests. Think i'm just getting older and brain has decided to slow dwn in function.

In addition, all my frenz r in Singapore. Yes, i do haf frenz here wif me from singapore but i guess i'm not tt close wif them. So yes, i'm missing everyone in Singapore. My church frenz, my colleagues, my secondary sch frenz, my poly frenz. I'm feeling so anti social over in HK. Crap.

Keep wanting to attend church but tons of sch work has juz stopped me frm attending. But if i dun attend church, tink i'd juz remain anti social forever. Realli yearn to strt attending church, get to noe frenz in HK. And live lk a Hongkonger rather than a miserable Singaporean hiding in my own hole. Of cos, it does not help wif me being on budget. Sigh.

Shall go continue starring at my books preparing for my test nxt week. God....

It's been 3 weeks in HK and finally i haf motivation to sit down and update my blog. The most exciting thg i did in my 1st week in HK is looking for apartment and getting the apartment furnished.

Oh well, thank God that i am smart enuff to do some research to narrow down my search area cos unlike Singapore where an estate agent proabably has accomodation from throughout Singapore, in HK if u go to 1 place, the estate agents onli haf accomodation for tt area. After some research including financial constraints, decided that To Kwa Wan is probably the best option. An overall impression of To Kwa Wan - An older estate where you live life like the real Hong Kongers. There're so many elderlies in this old estate and to a certain extent it feels like Toa Payoh in Singapore. Although some people says that To Kwa Wan does not feel safe but i feel otherwise. I took precautions by staying in a flat with security, though i tink the security is abit for show onli. Then also tried to choose a block that faces the main road so tt means the street will be more lively even when i come back at nite. And i managed to get a high level apartment with windows facing highwae, so i guess it's difficult for robbers to try to climb in thru the window. And the door technicalli has more than 1 lock cos we haf the main gate lock and 2 door locks!!! But the 1 main gate lock is not usually locked lahx. Tink other residence finds it a bother to lock the door lo.

I must realli comment about this interesting characteristic of HK apartment. Unlike Singapore where apartment r rent out even one room by one room or entire unit, HK apartment is divided into many indvidual units which they call a suite room. So technicalli i rented a small hotel look alike room wif a toilet and a mini table supposed to be my kitchen.

Here is a picture of my suite room:
















After revamping +++:

As for school, it has just started but stress has begun. I realli think i haven studied for 2 long. And my lack of interest and experience in research plus a lost in topic choice realli start to stress me up. Just pray for guidance from God that things will just flow when i strt working. Sigh.

Throughout this preparation of going to HK, i realli feel veri veri blessed. I cannot stop counting the blessings God placed in my life. God brought me someone who is alot more "C" then i m. So he did most of the planning while i was more thinking of going over then let's see wat happened. Buti guess good preparation might simply juz mean that i would be less panicky when i go over.

There are also people who blessed me financialli. I could not express how humbled i felt by the financial blessings that people around me showered me with. People whom i did not expect to receive monetary gifts from lk my CG frenz, my lecturer, all blessed me above and beyond wat i can realli tink of. And i noe financial blessings will continue when i go over to my grandma's house cos i already noe that i would be blessed once again.

I realli am thankful to God for placing people like them in my life. I am who i am because of people around me. Everyone who is involved in this preparation to HK has been a significant contributor to my pursuit for my masters degree and has contributed to the crafting of a better Serene.

Sometimes i realli do not understand God's plan and i feel so fearful in times of uncertainty. Yet sometimes i feel that everythg in this world is realli held in the hands of God. Nomatter how insensitive i m and how wrong i make decisions, at the end of dae, God will juz move everythg such that the puzzle fits nicely together as long as a prayer was once made and you juz decide to leave thgs into God's hands.

God's timing is juz so interesting. This time i realli kinda felt wat it meant by God is never too earlie, never too late but juz on time. If this happened too earlie, no fruits will bear forth. If this happen too late, fruits would haf dried up. But cos it happened right on time, going awae for a year i believe would only serve to strenghthen relationship and move everythg into right direction.

And now when i reflect back upon things that happen in the past in our lives, it feels lk God is juz preparing us for this moment. Juz lk wat i alwaz pray, "Prepare us Lord". So i juz wanna leave the remaining 1 year while i'm awae in God's hands. I want to trust in him. I may realli be scared but courage is not the absence of fear but the determination to continue despite the fear.

So i want to just continue to walk with courage with God holding my hands to guide me thru each and every single step. Hope when i come back, everything tt i haf now is not a dream but a dream going into fruitation.

Haven been blogging for a while as usual. Been super lazy. But not seeing my blog does not mean that my life has ceased. Lol. Well as usual, my masters programme preparation has been driving me crazy. I've been rushing to banks, depositing cheques, transferring money all in order to get my financial proof ready to be sent out. But guess wat, i dun even noe if i shld address my financial proof to hkpu or immigration dept. My fren suggested HKPU and i decided to follow. Well, we concluded that who it is addressed to is not that important, afterall all they wanted to know is that i haf enuff money for my masters programme is it not. Whatever. Pray that everythg will go well.

Well, but money is not the only issue with my masters programme. I was slammed with news tt someone was having some issues with getting her masters recognised. God. After all the trouble, the last thg i wanna hear is this. I was shocked, stunned, stressed and upset. I msged ppl to verify the truth of this msg. And i think it's realli by grace of God that i have good frenz ard me. My lecturer gave me the number of this "victim" and told me to call her. And while i was thinking abt wat to sae to this stranger, my fren offered to call her on my behalf as she was acquainted with her. And guess wat, b4 anythg was even done, my lecturer has called her. I was realli touched and humbled by my frens. Many ppl gave me suggestions, offered real help. Can you imagine ur lecturer calling ppl up to look for the answers you desire? Throughout tis application for my masters programme, i felt stressed, lost and upset. Many many problems came along the wae, to the point where i haf once tot of giving up.

Realli could not help but thank God for frens ard me. Frenz who realli helped me. Whether i am close to them or not, they have always been around me, helping me in times of my needs. Smtimes when even family does not stand by me, i thank God simply for different grp of frenz who stand by my side through all times. I sometimes imagine wat my life would haf been without frenz, i tink it would haf collasped. So i simply juz wanna thank God for being with me, putting ppl ard me to love me and help me. I love the Lord and i love my frenz 2. Hugz...