12/31/2006 01:05:00 AM
Sunday, December 31, 2006
I'm alwaz doing silly and stupid things even though i should not... Sometimes i juz do it to reassure myself that he still loves me... But at the end of everything, caused everyone to be hurt... I m hurt, he is hurt, and most of all i hurt the one who love me most, my heavenly father...
Sometimes i would wonder how abundant God's grace is... Could he tolerate someone like me??? Would he still shower his love and blessing on someone like me??? Someone who takes his grace for granted... Succumb to temptation of the flesh even though i noe is wrong and has the ability to stop it... Even haf time to apologise before making him upset... Haf he forsaken me??? Sometimes i would wonder... But i noe he's alwaz standing there, waiting for me to go back home...
I seriously tot after baptism i'd be veri different... But in the end, i'm still weak, still unable to stand up in face of temptation... But like wat pastor kong has said, strength is not = no failure, but strength = ability to bounce back after failure... This time, i realli wanna haf strength to bounce back and nv look back...
*Wonder how long tis determination can last...
12/17/2006 01:48:00 AM
Sunday, December 17, 2006
It's really an amazing and indescribable feeling... Many people had said it but i nv understood till i go through it...
I had my baptism 2dae... New name: Athena which means wisdom... Yeah!!! I need God's wisdom... The name itself actually was a name of greek "goddess" in wisdom and warfare... Well, i noe it's wierd... Gettin a greek "goddess" name when it's baptism... Well... I love this name... Cos i wan to be God's Athena... Not lk i wan to be "goddess"... But i wan God's wisdom when it comes to spiritual warfare... I wan to be a powerful and effective warrior for God!!!
Reflecting through the whole list of events which lead to my salvation and my baptism... God's work is really amazing... How can there be so many coincidences if God does not exist??? Well, i'm not being holy, but juz a reflection of my thoughts...
My salvation started indirectly because of ryan.. In fact i need to thank him for indirectly leading me to God... The dae when he left me broken hearted even until 2dae... But god's way is higher den our ways... Yes even though it hurts but it's these series and series of hurts that made me go closer to god and eventually hand my entire heart to god... And in fact,i come to realise that as i was hurt, God is pacing my life such that the hurts could be covered and comforted... I've learnt 1 thg frm these series of events: "The world can hurt you but only the heavenly father will never hurt you cos he love you so much!!!"
2dae i finally came to the father... With the deepest heart, i hand my life into his hands... Before these happens, there was so much struggle in me... So much doubt in me... But father lord made sure everythg was settled before the day of baptism came... When i entered the water,i must admit i realli felt nothing... But after i got out, i felt so happie... And this happiness grow stronger as i reflected on everythg god has done for me... I thank god for the new life he's given me... I know i no longer haf to worry about my troubles cos as long as i keep walking, i'll see light at the end of valley...
Thank you all my frenz who had been there when i'm down... I luv ya guys and i luv jesus... :)