12/30/2005 11:48:00 PM
Friday, December 30, 2005
Time realli fly... I realli din noe tt new year is around the corner... I'm juz living one dae by one dae as dae pass... So horrible of me... Hex... Saw Eliz blog on new year's resolution... Hahax... I tink new year comes 2 fast b4 i even decide on any resolution... But i tink i'll nv fulfil my new year's resolution... So y bother to make... Hmmm... Let me juz tink... Wat kinda resolution do i haf for next year... Hmmm...
1. Continue to survive in NYP
2. Pass my written and competency test before i join CGH next year, else i'll be out of job...
3. Be motivated about OT and like my job when i'm at CGH
4. SOCIALISE with ppl in CGH so tt i won't be labeled "aloof"!!!
5. Lose some weight
6. Save money!!! Else i'll be stuck with a diploma forever!!!
7. Find a boyfriend??? Hahax... This's juz for laff...
Oh... Finish of crap... Tiem to talk about wat happened to me... Yesterdae i did a veri dumb thg!!! I happily mass email everyone on my email list, probably all my fren would haf received the email, regarding the tsunami girl. I actualli did not wan to forward it, firstly cos i'm lazy and secondly cos i dunnoe if it's true. But out of my compassionate and loving heart, i decided that ling ke xin qi you bu ke xin qi wu. Anyway, emailing does not tk a lot of time cos i can click send to everyone, which is wat i did. But i happily 4got tt my lecturer's email address are inside... And the dumb me happily send this dumb mail to my lecturers as well. But that's not all. My "beloved" OT manager who saw my email happily remembered me all of the sudden, after forgetting that Serene existed for the past few months. So his reply is as follow:
"Hi Serene, Merry Christmas. Your e-mail prompted me to follow up on what we talked about the last time, that we should talk again. If you feel like it, we can meet - not so much as the head of OT to student but rather as colleague to future colleague. We can make a time when you are back at school. "
Wat i did suddenly prompted me y i became an O cos i've got the gifted power to provide sufficient stimulation to make a person who's forgotten about smthg remember it all over again. Oh well, i'm laming... But i realli feel lk killing myself... Cos me and Dor was still discussing abt it the other dae and we concluded tt he's probably haf forgotten... Can i sabo Dor as well??? Hahax... Bet she'll skin me alive... Hahax...
So wat m i suppose to tok to him about??? To feign how passionate i m abt OT when i tink i'm more of lk: "Watever lahx... It earns me money" or shld i tell him how i dread the fact tt i'm strting work in 6 months time and ask him to fail me so tt i can continue to be in NYP or tell him how confused NYP lecturers has been and tt i realli hate NYP more... Everythg contradicts isn't it... How can i ask him to let me stay in sch when i hate NYP more and more... But how can i strt work when i dun fee lk it... Hahax... Well well... Thgs are all beyond our control...
Enuff of my dumb mistake... 2dae I met up wif Mandy... Went to her house and she brought Isa along... I've got absolutely no problems with having mroe ppl at her house though i'm both anti-social and aloof... Hahax... Oh... Nv knew Mandy is staying in a condo... Hmmm... Tink her family q rich ba... At least i tink ppl who stay in a condo muz be q well-to-do one lahx... Tt's y i'm 4ever stuck in a 3 room HDB flat... Hahax... Oh anyway, we basically juz rot lahx... And talk to Isa abit... And i had a change of opinion about her... When i was a student at TTSH, i tot she was q fierce... Mayb cos tt time she q pek cek and stress lahx... But 2dae when i saw her, i muz sae she's q a nice person lohx... Veri nice to chat and crap with... Hmmm... So dun judge a book by it's cover... Hex...
Okie... Abt time to slp le.. 2ml i still muz wake up veri early wor... Hahax...
12/29/2005 12:04:00 PM
Thursday, December 29, 2005
It's finalli a dae where i can rot at home... No test-restest... No need go AH either... Hahax... But got a problem here.... I've got no programme... Wat shld i do for the rest of the dae??? Hmmm... MAyb i shld go to the library.... Return the books which i've borrowed and borrow 1 more book... Y one... Hmmm... Cos sch strting le... School strt = no time read story book le... Other then going to the library, I've got loads of thgs to do... Data entry would tk forever... Though each person onli need to enter 20 data, but i've enter till i wanna cry le... Arghx... The process of entering data is so horribly boring... All i can do is keep typing and typing and typing... God... Help me.... Hahax... Y dun i get paid??? Wonder how i survived working as an admin staff for data entry previously... Hahax...Oops... I relli tink i'm realli crapping... I aso cannot stand myself le... Hmmm... Shall update the blog when i have something mroe meaningful to blog den... Bye folks...
12/28/2005 11:36:00 PM
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Oh... Juz a remark... I tink it's fairly true and feedback from my good friend is tt it's realli true... Hex... So mayb can let u understand me better... But 2 long to be read lahx... More of for my own keepsake... U all veri free den can read lohx... And den comment in my tag box abt any agreement or disagreement ba...
Section 1: How You Approach Life and How You Appear To Others (At Superficial Level)
Capricorn Rising: Cautious, prudent, and rather self-contained, you are a person who approaches life realistically and who is not inclined to take foolish chances or get carried away by the overly optimistic or idealistic schemes of starry-eyed dreamers. In fact, you frequently have a jaundiced view of such things. You are rather worldly-wise at a fairly young age, even something of a cynic. Often the world doesn't seem like a safe, friendly place to you, and you tend to approach life in a guarded, conservative manner. You are generally calculating and careful, and are rarely spontaneous, fluid, open, and childlike.
You are pragmatic, shrewd, and an excellent strategist, carefully planning your moves for maximum effectiveness and advantage. You are willing to work long and persistently for what you want and you often do things the hard way. You do not expect others to take care of you and sometimes refuse or simply don't seek any outside help. You are often very ambitious, but quietly so. There is nothing flamboyant or flashy about your approach. You are very responsible, conscientious, and very concerned with your duties to others and how you appear in society, your "rank" so to speak.
To others you seem mature, serious, quiet, reflective, and emotionally detached. You dislike sloppy sentimentality and won't openly display your feelings, especially the softer ones. You like to always appear poised and in control and hate to show any weakness, vulnerability, or chinks in the armor.
You respect tradition and the time-honored way of doing things, and you feel there is much to be gained from studying history and also by learning from older, more experienced people. A wise mentor or father is often your guide in life, and you in turn develop a great deal of hard-earned wisdom which you like to impart to younger people. You have a stern, authoritarian, no-nonsense aspect to your personality. You expect much from yourself and may not give yourself enough room to experiment and make mistakes.
You also tend to be rather close-fisted, to save and conserve your money and resources rather than spending, enjoying, or splurging with them. You spend money on things of quality and of lasting value, things which are good investments, but not frivolous, temporary pleasures. There is a bit of the ascetic in you. You have great self-discipline and self-control and can "do without" very well. Your tastes are generally understated and simple.
Though you may have other, more colorful and imaginative sides, the face you show the world is modest and rather conservative.
Jupiter Conjunct Ascendant in Capricorn: In addition to your responsible and mature demeanor, you also radiate a sense of confidence, well-being, and optimism which inspires trust and good feelings in others. You expect success in life and you generally achieve it. You tend to create opportunities for yourself wherever you go, through your sincerity and your positive attitude.Asc. Conjunct Mercury/Venus
You are discrete, tactful and adaptable, and you have the ability to create a beautiful environment. You have a knack for entertaining people and appreciate pleasing manners and proper behavior when you are with others.
Section 2: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
Sun in Sagittarius: You are a gambler and an adventurer at heart, one who loves to take risks, to discover and explore new worlds, and to take the untried path rather than the safe, reliable one. You are an independent soul, freedom-loving, and often very restless. You need a lifestyle that provides opportunities for travel, movement, change, and meeting new people. A steady routine which offers much in the way of security but little in the way of space and freedom is odious to you.
To you, life is a journey, an adventure, endlessly interesting and rich with possibilities, and it may be difficult for you to decide where to focus your attention and efforts. You probably traveled around and experimented with many different paths before you settled on a particular career. Or you may go from one project to the next, for once the challenge and vital interest is gone, you are very quick to move on. Commitment, discipline, focus, and concentration are not your strong points. You can be irresponsible and disinclined to take on the burdens and limitations of adult life.
An incurable optimist, you have big dreams, aspirations, and hopes for the future and are usually pursuing some distant goal. You have a great deal of faith and trust in life and failures don't crush your spirit. You always bounce back from disappointments, often with another bright dream or scheme. You have a sporting, playful attitude toward life and are philosophical about your mistakes. You have the ability to sense future trends, to see the big picture, and you like to theorize and speculate. However, attending to all of the details and practical requirements of implementing your theories is bothersome to you.
You express yourself in a very open, direct, and straightforward manner and are often blunt and tactless as well. Because you do not take yourself too seriously, you may not realize how deeply your candid statements can wound more sensitive souls. In fact, though you may not realize it, your insensitivity and lack of understanding regarding others' feelings is probably one of your worst faults.
You do enjoy friendship and camaraderie, but you need freedom also and do not do well with a possessive, clinging, or emotionally demanding partner. You are quite generous yourself, and heartily dislike pettiness in others. Someone who shares your ideals, your sense of fun, and your zest for life would be the right companion for you.
Sun in 12th house: You tend to get involved in the helping professions or in activities where your efforts are hidden, behind the scenes, unacknowledged, or unknown to the public. Asserting yourself or getting up in front of an audience may be exceedingly uncomfortable for you.Sun Conjunct Mercury: You tend to see things from your perspective only and to be rather subjective. You also enjoy talking and expressing your views but you don't always listen as well. You have a clear mind, a love of learning and new experiences, and need constant mental stimulation and activity.
Sun Sextile Mars: You can be an inspiring leader of a team or group effort. Your dynamism and energy evokes the same in others, and you see healthy competition between people as a plus. Generally, you enjoy fine health as well.
Sun Conjunct Uranus/Neptune: Your physique tends to be sensitive and your vitality may be a bit low. You are very impressionable and somewhat unrealistic. Sometimes your idealism could be confused or impractical, and you can be rebellious or else apathetic.
Section 3: Your Elemental Nature
Fire and Earth are Strong: You have two strong impulses which are somewhat at odds with one another but when blended can be highly creative and productive. On the one hand, there is the dreamer, the gambler, the idealist, the optimist who is full of hopeful confidence, spark, and creative energy. This is the side of you that believes in magic and extraordinary possibilities. Equally strong, however, is the conservative, practical, adult side which seeks security and stability, and which needs to be productive in a concrete way.
Having both of these urges can lead to some internal predicaments, such as: Should I take the safe, well traveled path which offers me security or one which is unpredictable but which offers more freedom and adventure? Is there a way for me to live my dreams rather than simply wish and hope and fantasize about them? Can I bring my dreams to fruition without compromising too much for the sake of the market place? Can I be an idealist who is effective in the everyday mundane world? How can I express myself freely as an individual, while also being responsible and taking care of practical obligations and necessities? Should I be generous, or careful and conservative? Should I play (and be more of a child) or work?
If you give up one side of the equation (for instance, opting for security at the expense of your creativity or your ideals, or choosing to spend most of your time playing and enjoying your own creative pursuits without making any tangible contribution to the world), you will feel unbalanced and unhappy. Your challenge is to learn to somehow have the best of both worlds - to have an inspiration or ideal to aim for and to do something tangible with it. Or, put another way, to bring play and creativity and passion into your work. Your initiative, confidence and faith combined with your practicality would make you quite successful in business especially one of your own.
Water is Weak: You have difficulty dealing with your own and others' emotions. Feelings and the emotional reality of a situation are often ignored or discounted by you and you may thus seem insensitive or uncaring to others. Deep emotional rapport, empathy, compassion, and sensitivity to the feelings of others is something that you need to develop, and will be in more evidence later in life rather than in your youth.
Though you may appear emotionally self-sufficient or above it all, your denied feelings can result in physical problems, so it is wise and important for you to learn to acknowledge and express all of your emotions. You may also find that you crave a great deal of liquid, or to live near bodies of water, as a way to gain balance.
Section 4: Mental Interests and Abilities
Mercury in Sagittarius: You possess vision and foresight, and your mind is often occupied with big ideas, plans, and goals for the future. You are interested in what is possible and what is on the horizon, rather than what has already been done. The study of philosophy, religion, politics, or education is of interest to you, and you are more concerned with theories and concepts than with specific applications. You are not inclined to focus on any one practical, concrete area; you find it irksome to deal with details and particulars. You have a gambling instinct and enjoy speculative enterprises and new ventures. Business, advertising, and promotion would be good areas for you also.
Mercury in 12th house: You don't speak up readily, even when you have a lot to say! Also, your mind tends to drift and you find it difficult to study very factual material that doesn't have much color or imaginative appeal. Your intuition and first impressions are likely to be quite accurate, however, and you tend to depend upon this faculty in making decisions.
Mercury Sextile Mars: You have a sharp tongue and ready wit, and you enjoy intellectual competition, problem solving, and demanding intellectual work. In a debate, you know how to drive your point home. You also possess quick reflexes and dexterity and could be an excellent tennis or racquetball player. Any sport which involves a dynamic exchange between the players is a suitable arena for you.
You may have some strange experiences and could be interested in exploring the unconscious or some new kinds of consciousness. Curious about mystical and occult things, you may occupy yourself investigating supernatural questions.
Section 5: Emotions: Moods, Feelings, Romance
Moon in Virgo: You are very sensitive, cautious, and shy about showing others your feelings. Though you may love and care for someone a great deal, you rarely express those feelings openly and freely. Very often your love for someone will be expressed by trying to help them, doing something tangible to benefit them, or serving them in some way.
It is also difficult for you to receive warmth, affection, or appreciation, for you often feel that you don't really deserve it or that "they don't really mean it". You can therefore seem rather cool and aloof, much more so than you feel.
A deeply ingrained critical attitude often makes you difficult to live with. You need to learn to be gentler and less of a perfectionist with others and with yourself.
Moon in 8th house: Though you want closeness very much, you often close yourself off and do not really trust others who may wish to get to know you. You are very wholehearted in your feelings and responses to people, and you want all or nothing from the people you care for.
Moon Trine Neptune: The beauty and harmony of your surroundings has a very powerful effect on your emotions. You are very sensitive and cannot stand to be in an atmosphere where there is discord or dissonance. Gentle, kindhearted, and peace-loving, you will give or sacrifice much in order to avoid a fight and to "make everyone happy".
Moon Sextile Pluto: You have very deep feelings and profound attachments to people you care about. Your relationship to your mother, sisters, daughters, and other females in your life is apt to be incredibly close and intense. You may be easily manipulated too, when it comes to one of these important relationships, because you're so emotionally invested in it.
Venus in Aquarius: You are open and unconventional in your attitude towards love, romance, and sex. You enjoy socializing, bringing people together, and having many friends of both sexes. You value friendship very highly and are, in fact, more comfortable being a friend than a lover. You desire an intellectual rapport or spiritual bond with your love partner, but deep intimacy and emotional bonding do not come easily to you. The role of "husband" or "wife" in the traditional sense doesn't appeal to you, and you abhor jealousy and possessiveness since you feel that no person truly "belongs" to another. You appreciate a love partner who will allow you plenty of freedom and is not very emotionally demanding.
Venus in 1st house: You are very much aware of your personal appearance, attractiveness, and charm, and you can be rather narcissistic. On the other hand, you are concerned with getting along with others and you have a pleasing, agreeable manner that people find quite appealing. You use tact or charm to get what you want rather than intense effort or force. Your desire for love and affection colors everything you do.
Venus Square Pluto: You experience powerful, compelling emotional and sexual attractions, and you may feel that you have little choice or control over your desires. You have an intense need for love and may be emotionally greedy or insatiable. Your love life is passionate and often tumultuous and painful as well. Jealousy, power struggles, or possessiveness can become areas of conflict in your relationships. Positively, you can be unusually creative and bring about beneficial and healing changes in the lives of others, motivated by your deeply felt love.
Venus Conjunct Mars/Jupiter: You are rich in feelings and have the ability to express them well. You have a knack for making others feel good and are likely to enjoy a harmonious sex-life. You also have a strong need to create and may have a flair for designing fashionable clothes.
Section 6: Drive and Ambition: How You Achieve Your Goals
Mars in Aquarius: You are very socially oriented and work well in cooperation with others. You may be active in community affairs or unite with others of similar ideals and intentions to work toward a common goal. Progressive and democratic, you are not concerned with hoarding personal power or having authority over others. You are a team player.
New, unconventional methods appeal to you, especially ideas that involve bringing people together or creating fairer working conditions - such as networking, profit sharing, job sharing, etc. New technologies also interest you. Your energy level is high but somewhat erratic. You can be impatient, rebellious, and inconstant in pursuing your aims.
Mars in 2nd house: You often buy things on impulse and you can be reckless with your material resources and money. You have certain possessions that you are extremely attached to and possessive of.
Mars Square Saturn: You work hard and patiently to achieve your objectives, persevering and continuing on in spite of difficulties and discouragement. Concentrating on a single, clearly defined goal, you are able to accomplish much, but you often feel that the way is long and arduous, and that you must struggle on alone, that it's all on your shoulders.
You are capable of great self-control and self-denial and can be a hard task master, expecting far too much of yourself. You also tend to hold yourself back, to doubt your own power and ability. You feel that you meet with great resistance whenever you try to assert yourself or take initiative. Anger and frustration can be big problems for you, especially when you try to work with other people or depend too much on others for support. You work best in solitude.
Jupiter Square MC: You have grand aspirations and may be inordinately ambitious at times. That is, you're apt to be discontent with small successes and to feel like a failure unless you achieve extraordinary things. Avoid get-rich-quick schemes which promise tremendous returns for little energy expenditure. Even if they do seem to succeed, your ideals and values could be compromised.
Mars Trine MC: You have an abundance of energy, drive, and spirit to accomplish just about anything you desire. Your single-mindedness and zeal to get things done enable you to accomplish much. Sometimes you push yourself too hard without even realizing it, but sometimes even you need to relax and stop doing. You have the reputation for being a go-getter and a good worker.
Sun Sextile MC: In your professional life you are apt to have a great deal of recognition and success. Early on in your career, important and influential people in your field are apt to notice you and help you along. At some point, you yourself are apt to be quite an influential person -- at least in your chosen line of endeavor. You are headed for a leadership role.
Section 7: Growth and Expansion: Areas That You Enjoy
Jupiter in Capricorn: You have an innate shrewdness, and the ability to develop a clear strategy and follow it carefully in order to reach your goals. You also have a natural sense of order, structure, and self-discipline. You are likely to excel, both because you are ambitious and because it is very important to you to do a professional job, no matter what field you are in, or how humble the task.
Jupiter in 1st house: You have an optimistic outlook on life and to others you appear jovial, confident, and expansive. You do what you can to be encouraging and helpful to other people, and your generosity and lack of pettiness makes you very well-liked.
Because you see yourself as a lucky person, you may feel that you can "get away with anything", without negative consequences. You tend to go to excess and have little sense of moderation (or even caution, at times).
Jupiter Conjunct Venus/Neptune: You are very receptive to beauty and art and have a need to live a comfortable life. You may find great pleasure in illusions and could deem yourself happy in love whether it is real or not. You tend to leave others in doubt about your real inner self.
Jupiter Conjunct Mars/Uranus: A certain element of luck seems to surround you and you could be lucky in some unusual endeavors. You have the correct grasp of situations that present themselves and instinctively know the right time for action.
Section 8: Areas That Challenge You Or Are Difficult For You
Saturn in Scorpio: You yearn for, and fear, being emotionally vulnerable with others and experiencing deep emotional intimacy. Trusting others and letting yourself be known in a deep way doesn't come easily to you, and sexual inhibitions may result from this. You are very self-protective and may be compulsively secretive. Learning to relinquish control in personal relationships, and to be completely open, are important tasks for you.
Saturn in 11th house: You are generally not a "joiner" and do not feel comfortable in clubs, organizations or other groups of people that are centered around some common ideal or interest. If you do participate in a group, you may find the rules and procedures restrictive - or you may simply feel that you do not fit in with the others.
Being alone or with older, more experienced people suits you better than being with groups of your own peers.3
Saturn Conjunct Mercury/MC: Your disposition is somewhat melancholic and you could have a rather pessimistic outlook. You have an inner need to be alone and to deeply meditate on your thoughts. You take life seriously and may have been taught early on to learn from your mistakes.
Saturn Conjunct Uranus/Pluto: A bit stubborn and self-willed, you persist no matter what obstacles you have to overcome. You have great endurance and strength and force yourself to work very hard. You could be somewhat one-sided in the pursuit of your objectives.
Now we will discuss patterns of behavior which you instinctively and habitually revert to when under stress - a mostly unconscious process and one which you are apt to overdo because it is so familiar and thus easy for you. The direction you need to follow in order to develop balance, greater awareness, and wholeness is also described.
You gain by becoming more aware of the rhythm of the seasons and the natural world, learning to slow down and allow life to unfold in its own time. Nurturing a garden, a child, or some other living, growing thing gives you a sense of inner balance.
You have a tendency to be deeply suspicious, to not take anything at face value, to see hidden agendas and dark motives even where none exist! Life does not have to be conflict all the time... learn to accept things as they are.
You also need to develop patience, peace and stability by grounding yourself in your daily work and acting in a consistent and reliable way towards others.
N. Node in 5th house: The arena you are most likely to wrestle with these issues is in playful self-expression, games or sports, and creativity. Try to develop any artistic, expressive, creative potentials you feel you possess, utilizing the qualities described above.
The specific habits which are likely to hold you back, or which you are prone to overdo, especially during stressful periods, include:N. Node Opposition Saturn:Rigid self-control which overly restricts your ability to freely express yourself or explore possibilities, excessive concern with work, duty and security, fearfulness, judgmental attitude towards self or other people, feeling alone and cut off from sources of nourishment outside of the self. Try to learn to relax and recognize that everything is not your responsibility.
N. Node Opposition Sun/Pluto: You love to show off the strength you possess and you have a strong desire to dominate others. You seem to have an exuberant craving for recognition and importance and a need to influence and lead large groups of people.
N. Node Opposition Moon/Mars: You cooperate with others in a vigorous and energetic way. Your motto seems to be "one for all and all for one", and you feel strongly connected with others. In fact, you look upon other people as necessary for a worthwhile life.
Section 9: Originality and Imagination, Areas Where You Are Creative, Unique, Unstable, or Compulsive
Uranus in 11th house: You have unusual, even eccentric friends, and you are likely to join groups, communities, organizations, or clubs which promote progressive or unconventional ideas, social change, or innovation in some form. You are dynamic and creative in business affairs and in organizations.
Neptune in 12th house: Compassionate and extremely sensitive to the emotional tones in the atmosphere surrounding you, you are naturally "psychic" or able to sense and understand much about a person without talking to them or knowing them consciously at all. You are deeply interested in the hidden realms of life and the afterlife. Your powerful sensitivity may also remain latent or repressed through much of your life and then be fully awakened in adulthood.
Pluto in 10th house: You have a powerful sense of destiny and may be unusually, even ruthlessly, ambitious. There is a very driven, compulsive quality to the way you pursue your career or other important life goals, which is likely to win you both staunch admirers and vigorous opponents.
There is a very "radical" side to you, and you may want to remake or change the world in some significant way. Depending on other astrological factors in your chart and your own decisions, you can be either very destructive or a powerful force for healing and positive change in the world.
Neptune Conjunct Jupiter/Uranus: You never seem to plan ahead and tend to take things as they come along. Taking a chance on your future, you may win sometimes and at other times end up disappointed, because your views are inclined to be based on idealism rather than realism.
Neptune Conjunct Uranus/Asc: You respond quickly to people around you, but may find yourself emotionally drained frequently by contacts with restless people in your environment. Some of your relationships also could turn out to be disappointing because of deceptive indications.
12/27/2005 12:14:00 PM
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Try this test... Q accurate for me wor... http://web.tickle.com/color/result.jspSorrie peeps cos i'm an html idiot dunnoe how to put nice ncie pic and the findings as part of my blog so can onli put my results here k.... Hahax... My colour is Red! Your color is red, the color of racy sportscars, blushing cheeks, and luscious roses. Red symbolizes passion, romance, and love. So, since you're ruled by red, you probably trust your feelings more than your brain and tend to act spontaneously. If you see something you want, you go for it without thinking twice — impulsive is your middle name. You don't wait around for people to make decisions, either; you dive right in. Quite the romantic, you pay close attention to your emotions. In fact, if your heart isn't in what you're doing, you won't be satisfied. Of course, even when you do pour all your energy into the projects you tackle, your impetuous nature means your passions can shift as frequently as the wind. That's why some reds have trouble with commitment. Our advice? Next time you're feeling fickle, think before you act, if possible. You might be surprised at the results. Overall, though, it's great to be red. No one lives life more completely than you do. Have bolded the words tt best describes me... Hahax...
12/27/2005 12:55:00 AM
Wat the fuck... I'm absolutely pissed off after reading YT's blog... Accoring to her blog, my uncle actualli said tt my mother dunnoe how to teach me tt's y i was insensitive to her daughter's feeling and said that her daughter was siao... Kaoz... Insensitive to her daughter's feelings??? Was her daughter even there in the 1st place??? And wat the hell has it got to do wif my mum... If my mum doesn;t noe how to teach me does he noe how to teach his daughter...
Oh yes ... He's a perfect teacher who taught his daughter how to become anorexia and be super duper anti-social... I'm totalli fine wif the wae my mum has taught me k... At least taught me to be open and honest... At least taught me not to backstab ppl lk him... At least i've alwaz been brave to voice out how i felt... At least my mum taught me to be a good student... Did well for all my exams... Got a sponsorship.... At least my mom tot me to be realistic... Aim for thgs you're able to achieve... Dun tink of getting 7 As when u noe u're not cut out to get it...
Yes yes it's all personal attacks... I can tell u ppl out there... I may be tactless... I may argue wif my mom... I may quearrel wif her... But since she gif birth to me she's my mom... And u ppl out there dun try to insult her wif ur bloody idiotic fucking brain of urs.... If u tink i'm insensitive i dun c how sensitive u are to insult ur elder sister lidat... Fuck off manx... I'm alwaz proud tt i'm so much better off den ur daughter...
12/26/2005 11:50:00 PM
Monday, December 26, 2005
I din noe tt it'll be Jan 2006 next week... I happily tot that there's another week to go... Haix... Den 2dae i was looking at the calender at my cousin's house... To my astonishment, i realised that this's the last week of 2005... Despite all the festive season, i'm realli not in festive mood at all... Realli dread and hate the arrival of year 2006... There're a couple of reason for me to hate it... Let me list them down 1 by 1...Reason number 1... Starting of 2006 means the commencement of the suckiest time-table... U cannot imagine how i hated my new time-table... It has never been so bad before... I felt as if i'm studying to the fullest everydae... My lesson either strt at 9 or 10 and end at either 5 or 6... Oh my... And there isn't many breaks between each lesson... Meaning i guess i gotta slog to death for the following months in sch... Yucks... The lazy me hopes tt sch will nv strt...Starting of a new semester would aso mark the end of my sch life veri soon and the strt of my working life... Haix... How many ppl actualli would celebrate this dae cos all the studying is finalli over... I'm juz warped, as i've alwaz been, i realli dun look forward to it at all... The though of having to leave my group of interesting fren and having to blend into the working world is totalli sucky... I need to SOCIALISE... At least learn to be more sociable when i totalli dun feel lk... Arghx... Den need to tk competency and written test which i'm so worried i'll fail... And i'll be audited again and again... Given feedback or scolded for things which i haf not done well... And as a result felt horribly upset abt it for the next few daes... Haix... I juz hate work okie... I dun wan the responsibilities and the feeling of not under shelter again... Yes... I'm a wen shi li de xiao hua... But i juz hope to remain lidat... 2bad lahx... I noe i can't...Oh another reason y i hate 2006 is cos it means chinese new year would be around the corner... You may wonder y i feel so sucky that CNY is around the corner... My usual reaction would be, "Yeah! Got nice food during reunion... Got ang bao to tk... And can haf excuse to buy new clothes..." Hmmm... But this year, i'm not in the mood to buy new clothes... Cos i noe i muz consider abt my work so i need to buy onli clothes tt're appropriate for work, which's totalli out of my style... So sucky... Hate pants... Reunion dinner has not been fantastic since dunnoe when... So how much can i look forward to... Tink chinese customs smtimes is so wierd... Ppl juz sit ard a table once a year to eat... Wat for... And though the money is attractive still... But how much do i get each yr... I dun feel lk gathering wif my family... I tink i'm strting to dread my family... I realli tink my entire family, immediate or extended are all horribly irritating... Haix... Hmmm... I realli tink i'm a horrible chinese who'll nv appreciate chinese tradition... Actualli i once m veri interested in chinese tradition but as i grow older i realise tt chinese tradition is horribly bias... For example, according to chinese culture, it's horribly important to respect the elderly, they're suppose to be wise cos of the amt of experiece they haf and blah blah blah... But the elderly, as in our zhang bei, make me feel that they pretend to be wise... How wise are they??? Respect shld be earned and not given isn't it.... Wat the adults do nowadaes is to order their children, grandchildren or whoever ard lahx... They expect u to follow dem lk a dog... Cannot voice ur own opinion... And how many times are they fully rite?? ?Mayb they're in their olden context but this's already the 21st century... I dunnoe how thgs are lk in the past... Mayb the same or mayb worst but as far as i'm concern i juz hate when ppl uses their seniority to threaten me... It would be to no avail... The more they do it the more rebellious i m... But no adult understand... My family is the typical kind, though not veri traditional but at least the adult will forever tink they're rite... But most of the time it's their thinking onli... Actualli until todae, i still believe that everythg in this world is gray... Nomatter how black it may seem or how white it may seem, there's alwaz a gray area tt ppl neglect... If u can get hold of this gray area u can make the white turn black and blacl turn white... Tt's the best thgs lawyers can do... Tk for example again the issue i raised up afew daes ago abt me sayng tt my cousin study till crazy... YT told em tt my uncle went to complain my grandma tt he hear le den veri heartache... And all the adults assuming tt they noe everythg, assuming tt they noe me perfectly well, decide to comment tt i shld b sclded... Saying how can i be so tactless and i would offend ppl when i work and end up being backstab and blah blah blah... It sounded lk i'm at fault isn't it but as i've alwaz been q good in picking up gray area let me analyse for u... Let me gif u some background info abt this cousin of mine... I was nv close to her... Felt even more disgusted when she became anorexic after been overly stress up... Was diagnose wif depression plus anorexia or smthg of tt sort lahx... Oh i noe u all will sae tt i'm evil... Cos since i'm an OT i shldn't be prejudice against ppl wif mental illness and blah blah blah... But it's the wae my family behave tt turned me off and ended up i realli hate my cousin... She's lk the centre topic and everybody forces you to be concern abt her and blah blah blah... And the worse thg is she hai my mother get sclded... Stupid ger... She realli acted lk she's the queen lohx... Yucks... Enuff of background... I'm sure this background will make u all think tt i'm reali at fault to make the statement... But lk i sae i'll explain my stand... When i sae tt sentence, it's out of anger tt they did not view how i feel seriously... Took it as kinda a joke to compare me wif my cousin (ppl who dunnoe the entire story please refer to earlier entry)... So as irritated as i was, this sentence came flying out of my mouth... But my "Crazy" doesn;t mean she's anorexic and blah blah blah... I'll nv label them crazy one lohx... Cos i'm educated... I dislk her not cos of her illness is cos of wat happened after her diagnosis... So tt "Crazy" actualli means my typical word, a word to describe ppl who overdo thgs... U all understand my point... But everyone smhow tot i'm referring to her illness... My beloved fren... They're the one who label her isn't it??? If it's not cos they've got the mentality that she's crazy, how would they link wat i've said to her illness... Imagine if i sae this sentence to someone who never had tt illness would they react the same wae??? NO!!! Of cos we can;t alwaz push blame to others lahx... I need to tk my part of fault for my tactlessness... But i'm sure they shld aso reflect upon themselves... But i bet u they won't... Here, i shall close my case wif the stand tt m i fully at fault??? No... Cos if there's onli stimuli (which is the sentence i said) wif no receptor to recieve interpretation from their brain, this sentence would be meaningless... So i once again urge adults out there to reflect upon urself when u tink others is at fault... Usualli it take two person to make a fault, one to provide stimuli, the other to interpret the stimuli... Sorrie non-medical student out there who don't understand... But i believe most ppl wo read my blog shld understand... Oh... A veri long entry... Actuallis till haf alot to sae abt chinese culture but tired le... May continue f i'm still in the mood tomorrow... Suddenly felt tt it's a waste tt i dun study law... Hahax... Kidding lahx... I not so lihai... Juz crapping... Oh... Mayb some of the ppl who read my blog may think tt i'm trying to find excuse for myself but i realli tink everythg is up to one's belief and values and all i can sae is mine is different from many ppl out there including my family... Hahax...
12/26/2005 10:14:00 AM
Well well... I noe tt it's not Christmas dae 2dae but as u ppl noe, i'm super delayed blogger... Alwaz no mood to blog den will drag to the next dae den blog... Hahax... Hopeless manx... Well wat did i do on Christmas dae, i tink i purely wasted my life... Hahax... I reach home at ard 8 from bbq and i slpt til 3+ in the noon... Hahax... Lihai ba... But i tink i realli could slp earlier one wor... But some ppl are juz inconsiderate lahx... It's raining u c... Though me and a couple of my frenz are those who won't mind walking in the rain and be wet despite having two umbrellas, there're the veri ger ones mahx... So we decided that we shall wait for rain to be smaller but who noes, they got car... Duh~ If i noe they're tking car, i'd probably have gone back home and slp lohx... Y so bu zhi dong... Well well... Oh... And shld i comment abt the Christmas eve bbq... Well, let me 1st commence on commenting who went... There're me, Kerry, Zhao, Li Ping and my shuai ge, hahax... For tt i mean my clique lahx... Den got 3 other guys and afew other gers... HL's fren lahx... As usual, food is an essential part of bbq lahx... Onli tt i tink i'm pampered by the guys lohx... So i spent my time juz eating and the guys bbq lohx... Hahax... Actualli, din enjoy the bbq part veri much... Abit boring lohx... Other than eating still eating... Oh my... Den after tt we juz chat lohx... Chatted seperately... Kerry and my Shuai ge gotta leave 1st lohx... So they left,... It's midnite by den le... The few bored person left joined the guys lohx... Chatted and played bluff and bridge.... Well... Attempt to play bluff failed cos got 1 honest person... The honest person bluff less den 10% of the time... Since bluff failed we played bridge... Hahax... I muz comment it's the most horrible experience... Cos got a guy he super blur... He won't even noe when his partner is the bidder.... Oh my... So he keep sending wrong signal and dun even noe when he wins... Hahax... Boring... Well well... I muz sae boring is not all... I was still happily entertained by 3 cats... Hate the cats... Dunnoe y the hell they keep coming over to our pit... And what make things worst is tt the blur guy aso scared of cats... Kaoz... Den he keep chasing the cat from the bbq pit to where i m... Wah laoz... Feel lk dying manx... If i've a bf lk him i'll kill myself... My bf cannot be scared of cat... I'll die... Can u imagine how the supposedly the guy bravely protecting the ger scene would turn out to be both person fleeing.. .Spaastic rite... Hahax... Well well... I realli hate cats de lahx... And then it rained then i tot tt i'd be safe in the shelter cos since it's raining, the cats probably won't come over... But i was wrong... The cats came into the shelter... Kaoz... Wanna die... I had to stnad in the rain wif the umbrella... If u cannot imagine how scared i m of cats, after reading this blog u might get a rough idea ba... HAha...
12/24/2005 01:42:00 PM
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Today marks the eve when Jesus Christ is born... Hahax... Do i sound lk a Christian... No lahx... I'm not a Christian... But i do celebrate Christmas... 4 the wrong reason though... Christian celebrate Christmas cos of the birth of an important character in their life... But for me, hex... 24th of December marks the dae when i've got an excuse to stay out and juz enjoy myself with my frenx... Hahax... Horrible me...
I've got a bbq tobnite... But i'm suppose to pack my notes b4 i go for bbq... I considered myself finish packing but i'm veri sure if my mum sees what i've done she'll scream the hell out of me.. So conclusion i need to run b4 she comes home... Aiyo... No choice lahx... My notes are still all over the place and i pack till i'm tired le... So this sem's notes, i can onli stack it on top of the boxes... I aso lack boxes to put the notes mahx... Hex...
Oh... Anywae, Thurs i met up wif my sec sch bball mates... Well... They miss and dote me lahx... So wanna meet me to celebrate my bdae... Hahax... No lahx... Juz tt i tink it has been a custom to celebrate each other's bdae and this is also an excuse to meet up ba... Else the bz ppl where got time to meet up ne??? Hahax... Well, we went to Jack's place to eat and then went Indochine (? Did i spell correctly?)... Well, we took photos, eat and drink... Me as usual can onli tolerate cocktail... Hahax... So ordered Tequila sunrise, hoping tt i'll wakeup by sunrise 2ml... Hahax... Lame... Sorrie... Back to the topic... The staff happened to find out tt they're celebrating my bdae so i was invited on stage by the band... Hahax... Diao rite... The stage idiot me dunnoe wat to do and stood there lk a dummy... But i enjoyed myself alot... And i noe my frenz are worried i dun get myself a bf any sonner... Cos it's onli left wif me and LP on the shelf... Oops... Sorrie Lp to push u into the pic... Hahax... Well well... So when the band asked wat is their message to me they happily said: "Find her a bf"... Well well... It's not lk bf can buy from market one my beloved frenz out there... Hmmm... I smtiems do wan to get attached too... Cos i sometimes do feel lonely... Mayb cos many of my frenz out there are attached lahx... Den smtimes wen u feel sad u do wan someone who's stronger by ur side... .But 2 bad... Haven met anyone who can make me gif up my freedom plus temper for him... My prince charming is stuck in the desert lahx... Hahax...
Oh... After 1 nite of drinking... Though onli drank 2/3 of the glass of drink, Kerry asked me to join NC ppl for a drink... Tink they gg China Black... I juz got the feeling tt China Black is noisy... Hahax... Mayb dun lk the name ba... Dun lk clubbing either lahx... Since it's a pub not a bar i tink i won't lk it loh... Lol... So ended up slping through i whole of last nite... I slp at 6pm yesterdae... Hahax... And i woke up at 8.30am 2dae... Hahax... Champion rite??? Tink 2dae i'll be wide awake ba... Hahax...
B4 i leave, i shall wish whoever reads my blog a Merry Christmas... Regardless of wat reason u celebrate Christmas for... Hahax...
12/18/2005 09:02:00 PM
Sunday, December 18, 2005
I realli tink ppl nowadaes are not in their right frame of mind... If they stop irritating me, won't there be lk less tactlessness on my part and ended up offending ppl... Oh well... Ppl dun understand that their opinion is smtimes not needed and not asked for... So they shld juz keep thier bloody mouth shut... Dun try to tk ppl's emotion as a joke... Tt's horrible and irritating of them... Well well... I mean i noe i shld haf been more tactful lahx... But 2 bad i joke too much... and ppl cannot tk my joke cos they tk everythg seriously and to heart... Too bad then...Everythg happened from my mum commenting tt i alwaz cry after i come back from exam when i dun noe how to do... Well i tink i cry for a more valid reason than i tink i'm gonna fail... I usualli cry cos i feel so upset tt i make stupid mistake... It is stupid mistake tt i can nv condon and allow myself to make.. But they dun understand... And worse of all is tt he actualli compare me to his daughter and sae i'm lk his daughter... I dun care if it's juz a remark but firstly, i tink that making remarks lidat is trying to embarass me and not veri empathetic to a person's emotion... 2ndly, i dun lk to compared to other ppl... 3rdly i tink comparing me to his daughter is an utter insult... I think i'm much better den his daughter... And out of defensing myself and my emotions, trying to protect my emotions from being treated lk a joke and save myself from the humiliation and embarassment, i said smthg q mean, i mean harsh in the words but not suppose to mean tt wae when i sae it lahx... I mean i lk sayin ppl siao one mahx... So i happily said tt i nv study lk go crazy lohx... Which i perfectly agree... Common, she's stress when's she's onli in sec sch... U noe wat i'm doing in sec sch??? Playin bball... Duh... But i seriously muz emphasise tt the word crazy is not meant to be the literal meaning... But apparently, he was offended...Oh well 2 bad... I mean i noe i'm at fault but complaining do u no good... Cos i'm forever me... U dun try to hurt me i'll get off u... So dun speak when ur opinion is not asked for...
12/12/2005 01:38:00 AM
Monday, December 12, 2005
Oh... I should have blog this earlier... But no internet access as my bro is all keen and crazy over his silkroad... Hmmm... Went to watch Perhaps love with my beloved cousin... I muz admit that the onli reason why i decide to be so intellectual is because Takeshi Kaneshiro is tha main lead of tt show... Hahax... Horrible me... In fact after reading the review, i tot i won't be able to appreciate the show... I tot i would juz find the show boring... But things are not as i've tot...
The plot of the story is a musical in another musical... From the entire story, i could totally sense wat the actors and actresses are trying to potray... Their yan shen is so shang gan... There is no excessive crying... And i muz sae, out of so many movie that Takeshi has acted, this is one of the few veri good ones... At least he makes me feel that he's realli acting instead of being trying to fulfil an idiotic character which he is alwaz given... haha...
I love the way they transit from the past to the present... Seeing how he got from sadness to hatred to resolving his hatred for the female lead is so beautiful... Not segmented at all... Everythg nicely integrated... Onli thing is that the songs are not to my favour ba...
Overall, i would rate this film as good... Gif it 70/100... Hex... I recommend ppl to watch it if u lk musical... Got shuai ge smmore... Haha... Tt's the most important reason why u shld watch... Haha...
12/08/2005 09:39:00 PM
Thursday, December 08, 2005
I dunnoe wat i shld blog 2dae but i guess when u're bored, u'll juz feel like blogging... I realli wonder wat kinda life m i leading now... Everydae reporting at AH early in the morning praying hard tt i dun haf to stay there the whole dae... Den cos of the plenty breaks in between, i horribly snack, eat and gossip... Oh well engagin in all the most horrible activity u can tink of... I need a life... But wat shld it be???
After reading Eliz blog, i suddenly realise it's a long time since i really had any active leisure... Basketball used to be my onli active leisure and i'm so indulge in it... But now... I've got no real active leisure... So horrible... Previously during a period of time, i'll indulge in wakeboarding... Though it's expensive but it's active... Now all i do is play computer games, watch tv and vcd and eat and slack and complain that i do not haf enuff slp...
Is it tt my inactive lifestyle has resulted in a decrease level of arousal and alertness... Timre for leisure exploration... Mayb i shld go and c wat are some gu pi de leisure which i could pick up... My beloved frens if u happen to read my blog, we've not played badminton for a long long long time already... Shall we resume the activity after we strt sch... Haix... Yr 3 is juz so suckYYY!!!
12/06/2005 05:14:00 PM
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
M i labile or is it that ppl are getting on my nerves? I realli tink is more of the latter... 2dae i went to AH with a happie feeling which was a continuation of yesterdae... Though i do haf alot of fatigue due to sleep deprivation... Nevetheless, i tink everythg tt happened yesterdae juz perked me up lahx...
The blur blur me din noe tt Eliz is not coming 2dae... Hahax... Cos i nv read my msg carefully... According to Eliz i'm auntie... Hahax... Den i juz happily asked Peimin... So did u all managed to find out if she failed her paper... Hmmm... I tink it's out of genuine concern tt i'm asking... But hao xin ppl dang cheng gou shi lahx... I was told tt KS wanted them to keep a secret from me and the reason why she did not tell them is cos i'm ard tt dae... Oh well... Stupid ppl are lidat... Do u tink u can hide from me when i'm the 1st person to sense that smthg's amiss... Duh... Ruo yao ren bu zhi, chu fei ji mo wei... Nv hear b4 arhx... Tellin ppl lidat onli let me end up noeing how bloody fucking irritating u can be... Pardon me for all the vulgarities... As i'm said, i'm not in the best of mood lahx... And since i've decided to blog here it's for everyone to read lahx...
Oh well... I can sae i'm hurt and when i'm hurt i hate and when i hate i'll make sure ur life wif me is miserable... Thanks for activatin all my evil genes in me... Awaken them alreadi... How long haf i not hated anyone... I shall rejoice over ur failure since kindness doesn't get repaid... Even though it's onli failing by afew points u still fail... Hahax... And i'm so happie i'm not seeing u any sooner... At least a peace of my eyes lohx... And when i c I'm not gonna tolerate u anymore... Cos i hate u and u're not my fren at all... Dun need anyone who dun appreciates me as my fren... It doesn't make a difference to my life i'm afraid... Better hide all ur dark secrets and pray hard i'll nv get to noe dem... Cos i'm sensitive to ur funnie actions...
I tink i sounded lk satan... But when ppl push u to ur limits u noe u'll become one...
12/05/2005 11:54:00 PM
Monday, December 05, 2005
2 months is realli a long placement... It's so long that i somehow find that going to CGH to work is part of my everydae life... Oh well... It'd be part of my everyday life real soon...
2dae is a dae wif mixed feelings... I'm happie and excited that placement had come to an end... As u noe... I alwaz find placement extremely tiring... And the distance fo this placement from my home did nto help at all... So when this finalli over, i tink i need to rejoice (If onli i dun haf to go AH. i'd love everythg more...).
However, at the same time, i realli tink i'm gonna miss everythg that Huiting has done for me while i'm in CGH... I realli enjoyed this placement so much... I enjoyed my learning under her... And i enjoyed her companion... Though i must admit that i dun feel as comfortable wif her as i'm with Mandy but she's still someone whom i enjoy working wof alot... She made my placement in CGH a most memoriable placement i've had...
Anyway, 2dae i gave both Huiting and Xinyi a gift... I'm veri happie that both of dem are happie and touched... At least the deep thoughts put into getting them the present is all worth it... At least the appreciates all the effort i put in... Most importantly... At least i tink Huiting appreciates the hardwork that i put in to help her lighten her workload... Though i did not score full marks for this placement but i tink i'm hapie enuff wif my grades... nothing mroe that i can expect... :)
Hopefully when i return to work everythg would be so enjoyable too...