4/28/2008 06:30:00 PM
Monday, April 28, 2008
Mayb life has alwaz been a journey full of ups and downs. U learn along the way through ppl's mistakes and success and through ur own mistakes and success. But now i haf to learn frm ppl's mistakes tt affect my life so much.
Well, finalli had the chance and courage to ask him why. And finalli had the confidence to trust. Onli to find out that the one who hurt me most is my closest kin. Sometimes i realli wan to ask her y, y did she alwaz lk to tk my life in her own hand when hers failed so terribly. If u decide to produce a life, do u not produce it to gif it life and choice. Y do u bother to produce life to gif urself a second life to live. Juz cos u haf not done these thgs rite, den i become ur bu jiu ping. Dun lk it at all. To sae i'm totalli not upset wif her, i muz be a big liar. How can i not be upset. How can she be so selfish. All she see is wat she tinks.
But of cos, knowing wat had happened had relieved me from alot of guesses. Though i do not understand how thgs changed so fast. And still cannot explain all my tots. But i choose to believe tt it's not me who kan zou yan. But well, i guess some thgs is juz so miraculous ba. I feel that i'm all ready to move on frm the hurt accumulated in this relationship to a whole new level.
Somehow, i noe nomatter how silly it may sound, nomatter how my life progress, the little him will still stay in a little part of my heart as someone special to me in my life. Not tt i still love him or cannot let go, but mayb juz tt someone whom i treasure alot as erm, fren, ex bf etc etc, juz someone whom i treasure and love (not tt kinda bf gf love lahx). Lol... Wonder where will i be in his heart. Juz hope to be as equalli treasured and hope he keeps our memories well. I guess it juz feels good to be treated as someone treasured and is remembered.
Silly me, i'm always silly...
Of cos at the end of the dae when thgs turn out lidat, i muz try and psycho myself to be holy. Tt God's wisdom is higher den ours. And God is still in control. That if God allows such a thg to happen wif Him knowing the consequences, he muz haf greater and better plans for me ahead. Who knows 5 or 10 years down the road, u can read how exciting the life of a little girl has become. Life's juz unpredictable~