9/25/2005 12:22:00 AM
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Oh well... Me and my bluntness got me into trouble again todae... Mayb it's all my character's fault... I'm tactless oh well... God noes why he born me so tactless??? Y m i born so insensitive??? Alwaz being too emotional and expressing too much of me... I noe i got low EQ... Tink my EQ sure fail one... But it's me... U wan me to change??? Dun tink i can... And i dun wanna change... Not being stubborn but i tink this's part of me... U wan me to hide my feelings i realli dunnoe how to and i feel it's gonna gif me high blood pressure... Will get stroke and heart attack earlier sia... Hmmm...But there i go again 2dae... Happily giving comment abt my fren's gf... And wat i got in the end was pls dun sae anythg bad abt her anymore... I dun wan to hear... There is my care and concern... Being treated as the most irritating thg to hear on earth... Sorrie... I'm bad at counselling ppl... I alwaz uses my emotions to talk to ppl... Mayb tt's wat's good abt me but tt's also wat's bad ba... But i tot ppl lk u could accept it... But i was wrong... Shld not haf commented at all... But y??? Tot u could accept my most frank opinions... Isn't wat frens are for??? Are frenz suppose to be hypocrites???I juz can't control... Not tt i dun wan... HAven u noe me well enuff tt i'm juz frank and blunt??? Tot u did... Sorrie peeps... Serene is frank, blunt and EQ 0... Remember this forever... 4get it... I shall not join anymore of such sensitive gathering...I alwaz tell ppl if u haf problem u can cum to me... Now i need to change wat i wanna sae... Listen up the whole world... Dun come to me if u cannot accept frank comments... Becos the Serene here is not able to control herself... Watever she sae is veri tactless and right from the bottom of her heart... She's juz tt emotional... And if u can't tk it... Pls... Dun even ask me for any of such gathering... It juz hurts to hear tt u made a fool out of urself and u're the most irritating person on earth... I hate the kinda feeling... Smtimes i tink it's better to be alone... I won't offend anyone wif my dumbness anymore... Haix... Y did i even sacrifice my study time for this gathering and make a fool out of myself??? I'm not a clown ppl... Though i alwaz sae i dun mind being 1... But i tink it's juz tiring when i'm having my own work to worry... Gif me some breathing space... Tt's wat i need badly!!!
9/23/2005 10:08:00 PM
Friday, September 23, 2005
Tink my class was cursed 2dae... U shld haf seen how zombieied the class look... Everyone looked stress... No sign of humor and life that u previously seen in our class... Everyone are stressed up about wat they face... Well... I mean with the exam tt's coming nxt week... It was a bad enuff strt wasn't it...Den after tt... Worse thg happened... During Charmaine's sensorimotor dysfunction session, we did some revision... I was shocked and panic... Cos i realised tt what i practised isn't realli wat Cheng Mun and Charmaine wans... They do not want us to show wat Hua Beng taught... They wanted normal movments... And this means... I'm dead... Could not remember how to do it... Haix... Den dun even mention play and school... Tink this was the 1st dae i so pissed wif SY... I tink the name Serene is cursed.... My sec sch principal who also had my name was a bitch... This Serene i shall not be so mean lahx... But i was realli pissed off wif her 2dae... Nv seen such petty lecturer... Hmmm... Well.. We did our presentation... Den in our presentation we included 2 pages of thg which we took from Kaleidoscope... Well we did not ask for permission but we referenced rite??? At least we acknowledge dem... Duh... Is it realli so secretive??? Not as if we took the whle booklet... We onli tk 2 pages long of notes lohx... Arghx... Den she told us veri pissed offly tt we shld haf asked permission... Duh~ As if we noe... Cos lecturer lk Charmaine also alwaz gif us TTSH notes mahx... Lk assessment... Duh~ Cannot stand it... and i clearly remembered i put assessment from hospital into my assignment and the lecturers din even sae a word... I mean we could haf asked and it's better to asked but how the hell do we noe... Sorrie lohx... Tt's all i could sae rite??? But i tink she juz hates our class... And hates our group... She totalli gave us a face and criticise every single thg we did to the least bit... Kaoz... Got so bad mahx??? Den keep asking us question... But the most irritating thg is tt the question she asked we did sae the rationale... Onli she nv hear... Is she gg to penalised us??? Duh~ Wat can i do if she decided to??? She's juz against us rite??? Dun tink i'll do veri well for the presentation... Juz hates her to the core... Haix... She's an ass... Den nvm... I realised she got super duper unrealistic expectations of us... Haix... Dunnoe wat the hell she tinking... Lk expect us to be practising clinician... Haix... Expecting the hell from us for the exam... Juz wish i dun screw up my modules again... And hope this CBL won't pull me dwn 2 much... Anyway, dun tink i'll get high for my CAP... Means muz work double hard 4 exam... gambatte ba... Juz hope i'll not flop a single thg... Haix...
9/21/2005 08:54:00 PM
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Oh well... So evil... Still calling HB smarty pants... Juz trying to brighten up my life... Oh wel... Had a tok wif him juz now... Q a long tok smmore... But it's all revolving ard 1 topic... My wonder if OT is realli important for clients and if this is wat i wan... He was trying to boost my self confidence cos i totalli refuse to tink i'm good and in fact i realli tink i'm inadequate...
Hmmm... But at the end of everythg he wants me to try to put aside my feelings and for the next time i see a client put the client first... Do the best for them... Tk tt as my source of motivation... Hmmm... I wonder if it'll work... but i'm willing to try... Mayb smhow smwhere out there i'll find my source of passion for the profession... Mayb by doing these, i'll be able to find the unique meaning to OT... Well well well... Wat else can i do other than trying out waes and means to find meaning in my occupation??? Need to at least work for 3 years... And as a matter of factly, i dun wan to leave OT... Though i dun c the philosophy of OT being practise in Singapore, i hope to see it change and hopefulli one dae i can prudly tell ppl i'm proud to be an OT becos it makes a difference in people's life... It is important, special and different...
Hmmm... Wonder if tt dae will ever happen... But i juz hope it does... Xi wang zai ren jian... But b4 i can do anythg i need to do well for this exam??? Realli behind time for revision.... Need to add some oil to my engine... Hahax... But i q slow in studying one... God noes why... Oh anywae, tink i need to drink coffee wif HB again after my placement... Hahax... He sae we shall tok again... But wonder if he remembers... He's lk so bz... Lalala...
9/17/2005 10:46:00 AM
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Wat wrong wif me 2dae??? I realli dun understand but since i woke up this morning, i haf an unknown sense of sadness and loneliness... Dun ask me why... Already said it's unknown... So i aso dunnoe... Wanted to go out to alleviate this idiotic sensation... But nobody is free to entertain me... Haix.. I wonder if it's cos i've juz finished rushin all my project and dun feel touching anymore assignments... Yet... I found myself having nthg 2 do... My group of bball frenz are enjoying themselves in Thailand at this point of time ba... And everybody choose to celebrate their bdae on the same dae... So nobody go out wif me... Plus it's a Saturdae.... So many ppl go church service... And i shall continue to rot at home 2dae until i can find a mood to either do my assignment or study or find smthg to do tt'll make me happie... Sobs... Mayb shld go watch A*Mei's dvd again... Crazy me... Dunnoe watch how many times le.... Tink i'm realli gg crazy le... The boredom plus loneliness plus sadness is driving me crazy... Need to find smthg more interesting to do... Sighx...
9/05/2005 09:01:00 AM
Monday, September 05, 2005
I've just finish rushing my stupuid idiotic clinical reasoning assignment, CR for short... You noe y i love it so muc??? Cos tt stupid HB din make himself clear during lessons as to what we should include in our clinical reasoning assignment... He happily assumed that we will noe and apparently i din noe... Spent the whole Sunday morning and afternoon writing irrelevant stuffs... Until i ask liting to look thru my work to check if i'm on the rite track... To my horror my assignment is horribly wrong... So gotta redo... Can you imagine me trying to rush out an entirely new report at 11??? If u tink it's 11 in the morning, you're horribly wrong... It's 11PM!!!Kaox... Tink i still quite lihai le... Managed to get i done at 9 sharp this morning den beg Peimin to print out for me in school and submit it cos i won't bw able to make it to school in time..
Oh well... Tink I've done quite a good job despite the horror, rush and stress involved... Though i tink he'll faint looking at the kind of sentence i come out with cos all very verbal and non flowery and not nice... But who cares... At the end of the dae i tink HB is one who cares more about content than language... He is not Jo wor and he better dun mark me dwn juz cos of my languange... Otherwise, i'll kill him... After spending so much effort on it, he must gif me a A k... Hahax... Duh~ As if it's up to me to decide...
Well... Realli dun feel lk attending class todae cos i realli dead beat le... How??? Can i juz slp and skip lessons... Haix... Xian xian xian... Even if i go sch i bet i aso cannot concentrate ba... Haix...