1/15/2007 11:03:00 PM
Monday, January 15, 2007
How can human be so fickle minded when they come to love??? When they decided to commit into a relationship, haf they not tot about never ending love??? I noe the passion will slowly fade awae after dating each other for some time, but dun they understand that it's not passion tt sustain a relationship??? It's the communication and decision to keep on loving that sustain it...
Sigh... Recently there's tis irritatin scandal gg on in my office... An irresponsible and flirtatious guy ditched his 7-yr gf to be together wif tis irritating and bitchy ger... For u to be together wif smone for 7 yrs is there no love involved??? Sigh... But tis love is so fragile... Could not go thru test of a bitch's seduction...
Though all 3 party does not exactly has anythg to do wif me but i juz feel angry wif the scandalous couple and i feel sad for the gf... The worst thg is tt they're trying to hide their shameless affair but the whole department noe about it... And worst of all they pulled one of my colleague, good fren of mine, into the picture...
Sigh... Can they stop being so egoistic and zi lian and cheap... Wat is the world becoming...
1/09/2007 12:53:00 AM
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
There was once a man of God who loved God alot even to the extent of letting the one he loved go once upon a time. I remembered he once said, "I could compromised with anythg but not God."
Then there came tis ger, who made tis man of God fall. She made him sin against God. Though she's not totalli to blame, but she nv stopped feeling guilty. God has spoken so many times, telling her so many times that she had to stop the man frm sinning and it's alwaz within her capacity, but she alwaz fail. She alwaz chose the flesh above the spirit.
The door was opened for the devil to enter their life. But the ger was lucky. She knew repentance is not just about feeling guilty and sayin sorry. But turning 180 degrees back to God. She knew that though God's grace is there but it never came cheaply, every single grace given was bought back by God's blood. And lk wat God has revealed to her, "Servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beated with many blows.But one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." Yes, the ger and the man are both servant of God who knew what sins are, though God is gracious, but there's no cheap grace in god. If they chose not to turn back to god, they'd need to face the music. Yes, we may fall when we try to turn back to god, but god will alwaz gif us strength to stand up again.
The girl is afraid that the man will think that God is forever gracious, that it's okie to sin. For God gave man a choice, so god will cover all human's sin with grace. But look, God gave Adam and Eve free will, but when they sin, though God is still gracious and clothe them, and sent christ to save the world, but they still were punished. It's never okie to sin especially when we know it.
The girl knew she could stop being a sin in his life. But she's worried that the root of the sin is still in the man and the man will let other aspects of sin enter his life. She's now praying for God to clean his mind. So that he would hand every single sin, past and present to God so that God could gif him strength to overcome them.
The ger do not noe if the man would see her heart, and she does not noe if the man would understand wat she's trying to sae, but the girl juz hand it to God, to make the man see. "Many thgs are impossible with human, but not with God, With God everythg is possible."
1/02/2007 08:23:00 PM
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Hmmm... Wat's wif ppl nowadaes... Likes having cold war... I'm not smone who enjoys quarrels... But neither m i the kind who'd succumb to unreasonable ppl... One cold war juz ended 2 weeks ago and another cold war has started... I'm already rather immune to not talking to her... I'm not even tinking of making any attempts to resolve our problems... Dun tink there's a need to pretend to talk to one another even though we're both bu shuang wif one another... Tt has been wat's happening during the past 2 weeks is it not??? Is there even need for hypocrisy???
So my plan now is to minimise conflicts by minimising the amount of physical, verbal and emotional contact... Anyway, guess my life's gonna b q bz given that i'm gonna start giving tuition... And nites when i do not need to give tuition, i shall keep myself bz watching animae or gg to learn guitar... I wan pick up guitar!!!
And plan number 2 is to shift out of the house when i start school... I've absolutely valid reason to shift out of the house given that my school and workplace are both so far frm my house... And given that i'm having nite classes, i predict i'll end school pretty late... In order to ensure sufficient time to study, i'd use it as an excuse to shift out of the house!!! YES!!! I need a personal space and peaceful space where i can lead a life of my own...
I'm trying to re-organise my life this yr... I've kinda decided that i might end up being a spinster... But mayb it's be alrite afterall if i can find sufficient leisure and purposeful activity to do alone... Guess when one grow older, there's more conflicts to overcome in order to find out the ultimate meaning of life...
In the veri beginning, i alwaz tot that life is merely studying, earning loads of money and ultimately getting married and den die... But now, i decided there's more to this... I'm gg to figure out the meaning of life for myself... Else wat's the point of having me on tis earth... Juz another person to fight for oxygen... Well well... Smtimes realli tink life's boring... I can get so damn bored... But still gotta get on wif life... So muz find smthg i enjoy doing... Need to find a work which i'll enjoy so tt i won't dread gg to work...
Well well, sufficient crap... Good bye...
1/01/2007 11:56:00 PM
Monday, January 01, 2007
Hmmm... 1st dae of year 2007 is coming to an end soon... But 2dae hasn't been a great dae afterall... My dae started wif quarrelling with my mum not long after i wake up... Sometimes i realli wonder if i'm already tired of quarrelling wif her and m tired of all her nonsense... If she would not mind i'd juz wan her to noe how to mind her own business... If she hates the wae i act den treat it as i'm juz a tenant not her daughter... Mayb i'll feel happier tis wae... Stop creating agony in my life... I've had enuff of it during my past 22 years of life... And i seriously find myself happier without crappy family whom other than shit, i realli dunnoe how to describe them...
Nevertheless, i went to watch movie, confession of pain wif Mindy and Yee Ling... Hmmm... It's abit complicated at first but feel that the show could be made better if they did not reveal who the killer is at the beginning of the show... There'd be more anticipation then... Overall the show is so so but cos Takeshi is the main lead, the show is veri good... Hahax... But he's not at his best in the show though...
Hmmm... Guess how unlucky can one get, i realised my skirt was stained with blood after the show... Gotta buy new skirt... Waste money... Sigh sigh... Wat an unlucky dae 2dae...
Hopefully though the 1st dae of 2007 did not turn out fantastic, the remaining year would be sweet... Year 2006 has been a sweet and bitter year... But nevertheless, i'm hopeful that year 2007 would be better and i'd be happier than 2006...
Resolution for year 2007:
1) Be happily single
2) Build up a strong and close friendship with Ryan
3) Go back to school
4) Move out of house
5) Stay pretty
Lol... Smile alwaz~~~
1/01/2007 01:40:00 AM
Let me use a analogy to start off regarding my topic for today... Supposed you're very poor and for some reason, you do not have money to eat for 10 days... Would you think of what you would eat 2ml if you do not have the money to eat for the past 10 daes??? The answer would be NO!!! All you would tink of is wat could i afford to eat today...
Let me go into the topic for 2dae... The topic of y i decided to turn to Christ... Seriously, for one last time, i wanna announce tt i did not turn to Christ cos i kanna kong tao or wat lohx... Duh~~~ Who would put kong tao on me??? Who would benefit from me turning to Christ??? Hmmm... Let me see... Ryan benefiting frm me turning to Christ??? Mayb then he can leave me into God's hand and worrie less about me... But real benefit??? Not lk he'll haf any such tt he would put kong tao... Ah Li who brought me to City Harvest??? Tink she's too naive to noe how to put kong tao... And tink me turning to Christ meant she had to spend more time listening to all my nonsense talk... Gershon, my cell grp leader??? Hahax... Wat could he benefit??? Pastor Kong??? Tink to him, onli God's important... Not lk i'm damn rich to contribute to the church aso... I dun mean pastor kong onli lk rich ppl... But not lk my monetory contributions lk my mum is so possesive about is of any significance to the church... There're so many rich businessman out there... Y me???
So at the end of it, i'm juz trying to prove tt noone put kong tao so tt i would turn to christ... But i turn to christ cos of his grace and mercy to even notice a small life lk mine... A creator of heaven and earth, showered me with love when i was at the bottom pit of my life... Everythg in my life was chaotic at that point of time... My love life failed me, i'm totalli not adapted to the working world, my family disappointed me, my frenz are not in singapore else too pre-occupied wif their lives to realli counsel and listen to me... I was at the point of entering into depression... Suicidal tots entered my mind... But God showered me with his love and faithfulness, never letting me go even after i've done so much stupid thgs... He met my need for love at tt time...
He healed my hurt too... Through Christ, i've been strengthened... He gave me promises about my future and helped me see a purpose in what i'm doing at work... He told me he was my comforter so that i could be a comfort to others... That was when i became less disappointed wif my family... Yet my family aren't appreciative... They're realli lacking the wisdom to see the light in my life... The darkness was not smthg which i could dispel... Oh God... Help me...
Anyway, during the down times, it was not my family who came to comfort me... It's the ppl whom God placed around me, lk my cell grp frenz who made sacrifices to ensure i'm alrite... Not even one of my family member ever asked me, "R u feeling better..." All they did were to add salt to my wound and add new wounds to me... Dun you haf the cheek to tell me that my family is treasure in heaven cos when u abandoned me, it's God and my cell group frenz who picked me up... Where were u when i most needed u???