8/23/2006 08:28:00 PM
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
The Five Love Languages
My primary love language is probably
Quality Timewith a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.
Complete set of results
Quality Time: | | 11 |
Physical Touch: | | 7 |
Words of Affirmation: | | 7 |
Acts of Service: | | 4 |
Receiving Gifts: | | 1 |
Information
Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.
Take the quiz
8/22/2006 11:01:00 PM
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
These few daes has been struggling between trying to let go and emotions of not bearing to let u go... Everytime i read the past smses u've sent to me, i cried... And i strted regretting having to let u go... Until i sit dwn and told myself to GOD tk my burden and decide our path for us...
Somehow, deep in me, i do not believe that GOD is going to tk u awae frm me... I'm awaiting for a miracle to appear... I'm awaiting to sense him so that he can explain to me wat he has been doing.... How can a loving FATHER lk him bring me into ur life when u prayed for me and then tk u out of my life 4 and a half months later... I choose to believe that this a a test he's putting us thru and when he feels that both of us haf become strong enuff he'll bring us 2gether again and perform a miracle to cure u... Mayb by being able to let u go would indicate my growth in strength...
To me, all my above thoughts are optimistic thoughts... I do not know how much i believe in wat i've said above... All i noe is ive to leave my faith in GOD and try to sense GOD cos mayb if i m able to sense him, my faith for him will grow even stronger and he'll be more willing to answer my prayer...
2dae i asked GOD if praying 10 times everydae would allow him to understand my desire for u to haf a good health and for us to be together... And i asked if my prayers would be answered if i pray frequent enuff... Of cos i din pray to him 10 times a dae... But i tink i'd pray whenever i tink of u...
Watever i've said above is not an indication of me not being able to let go... But juz an indication of my optimism... I tink i need to stay optimistic so as to find peace and happiness... Leave GOD to deicide our fate for us but yet do our part by praying and turning to him... U muz aso do ur part... Pray, turn to him and tk good care of urself... If u do not do ur part, den how's he able to perform his...
Seriously, tink i'm still in the process of letting go... Dun even noe if i'm makin any sense in this blog... It's juz statement of all my emotions...
8/20/2006 09:25:00 AM
Sunday, August 20, 2006
It has been a week since our break off has past.... And as usual, there's alot of unknown relationships and grey areas... We keep stepping beyond the boundary cos both of us couldn't bear to let go...
Yesterdae something happened... My mum threatened to kill herself if i dun come home and i was with him... When i reached home, she told me tt a monk told her that disaster would befall on me if i continue to be with him and told me he's no good etc etc etc... I was upset... I dun understand wat he has done to deserve all these humiliation... The onli disaster i could tink of would be me being devastated when he realli leave us for good... And i noe i would be devastated...
So after chatting wif Jean for a long long time yesterdae and tinking thru things carefully, i've finalli decided to let go... And i called him to tell him my decision... We chatted for 3 hrs... I asked him and reconfirm and reconfirm if that is wat he wanted... And he said yes... He told me how he prayed to GOD for a ideal gf and i came along... He accepted everythg about me but juz tt we cannot be together forever... Part of the reason y he chose to let go is cos GOD told him to let me go... Tink GOD is realli tking him awae and does not want me to be hurt... Or GOD has other plans lk he said and we shall juz seat back and watch him perform miracles... I knew i had to leave so that both of us would be hurt less in due time...
Though i decided to let go but it's still a veri difficult process... I'm trying to be like Jean not tink so far and look at the positive side fo thgs... Cos if i tink too far and not look at the positive side of things i'm gonna haf a nervous breakdown...
Now all i hope is if he ever leaves, i hope him happiness... Cos he said he would... He said GOD would tk good care of him... I believe so too... Though i tink i'm spiritually confused... But i'd rather choose to believe that he'd be happie than me not knowing wat would happen... And also, i realised that quality of living is much more important than the duration... It'd hurt me more if he stays by my side but is miserable and gradualli loses his abilities... So i still believe that GOD noes the best for us and would tk good care of us if we leave thgs in his hands...
I tink this blog would shock many ppl... And many ppl would wonder y i choose to believe in GOD when i'm not a christian when they noe me... I guess i can seek comfort in GOD when it comes to this thg... Cos GOD garuntees eternal life and i noe he'd be well taken care of... And onli if i haf faith in GOD and trust in GOD, then will i believe that he'd be happie to leave and we'd meet some dae... It's not lk i'm converting to Christian but i juz wanna seek GOD, c if i can find him... Sense him myself b4 i make any decisions....
8/14/2006 04:25:00 PM
Monday, August 14, 2006
Was suppose to be at work todae... But when i woke up, my mind in completely blank... I dunnoe wat i'm suppose to do to face my patients... I'm afraid i will break down in the process of treating my patients...
I broke down a couple of times 2dae... But lesser den yesterdae... Does it mean i'm feeling better??? Nahx... I dun realli tink so... I tink i cried lesser because i still hold a hope... I still have my triumph card... And while readng through the materials i've found, i feel taht all hope is not lost... Or mayb it is... Gotta find out more about wat is gg on...
2 bad MC onli 1 dae... Y isn't there a diagnosis called heartache... How long wil the MC of heartache be??? *I wonder* Realli wondering... Okie... I shall cut the crap... No mood to type... Brain aso jam, cannot type... Lol... When wil i return to normal intelligence??? I wonder...
8/14/2006 07:07:00 AM
Wanted to blog dwn everythg which i can remember about us being 2gether... My brain has a small storage space and i do not want to forget anythg significant...
30th March 2006: We got together... The process was so miraculous... I knew he love me and he was given green light by my best fren to zhui wo... Deep in me, i knew i'd haf accepted him... So he turned on gear 5... We got 2gether when i was looking at his hand, looking at the lines of his hands... He held my hands and tt's how we got together... My feelings at tt time, i can still remember it quite clearly... I was elated... Realli happy... Yet at the same time feeling q shy... Lol... Spastic...
For the nxt few daes, we met up almost everydae... Doin all sorts of funnie thgs... Lol...
14th April 2006: We were watching a movie "Inside Man"... After the movie, we went to a posh hotel... Westein Stanford 44-06... For ur info, it's the tallest hotel in the world... He knew i love the sea so he booked tt hotel facing the harbour view so tt i can tk a look at the sea... We found somethg to do which bond us... It became somethg which we share whenever we're together alone... (Our secret activity... so i shan't tell u guys wat it is) It was so romantic... I was so touched... On tt dae, i feel lk i'm the most fortunate ger in the world... I feel tt i've found the love i'm seeking for the past 22 years of my life... I knew he's the man of my life... I juz knew it...
30th April 2006: Our 1st month 2gether... I lied to my parents tt i'm gg chalet... I went camping with him... He even did his homework and found a spot at the beach... Beach again... Cos he knew my love for it... On tt nite, he made spaggheti for me... Cos i wanna eat it... Though it taste horrible cos it was cooked using mass tin but i still ate alot cos i'm hungry... Gers in love are hungry gers... He even brought his dvd player and he knew i juz fell in love with harry potter so i was watching it dere... Lol...
30th May: Our 2nd month... We went to Genting and KL 2gether with Li Ping and Ye Hong... We spent most of our time slping in hotel... But i was stil veri happie... Cos i'm wif him... And i knew he love looking at me slping... So i guess the daes went lk i slp and he look... Lol... Of cos he did slp 2... 4 of us squeeze into one hotel room...How lihai we are... This marks our 1st trip...
30th June: Our 3rd month 2gether... But we quarrelled... Cos there're some miscommunication... Cos i din hear tt we'll b gg for dinner so i told my mum i'll be home for dinner... I din explain tt i nv hear cos i dun wan him 2 tink i'm not listening to him and u noe i alwaz blur one lahx... But we wore a qing lu zhuang... Tink he bought from KL... It's super cute... Still haf loads of those photos with me... We spent the afternoon lazing at sentosa, criticising ppl... Lol... But tt dae was realli our big row...
4th month into relationship: I felt he has changed... I wonder is it cos of wat i did during the 3 months... He seem to be more pre-occupied wif other stuffs and spend less time wif me... But i was wrong... I tot he love me no more... But i was deadly wrong... He still love me sooooo much...
30th July 2006: I were suppose to be at chalet... He fetch me from work and we went to chalet... But i wanted to watch world cup... It had been smthg i did wif him though i'm no fan of soccer but i juz wan to share smthg in common with him... We had great fun watching television, chatting, and doing our favorite thg which we alwaz did when we're alone... It gifs us the bonding... Den he had to fetch me to work the nxt dae... Cos if he doesn't, i'll die travelling from bukit batok to changi... But he alwaz gif me a lift so tt dae would nv come, at least not den....
12th August 2006: He told me he has to leave me... He explained the situation to me... I regressed to be child like... I cried, i brawled, i told him i do not wan to be a good ger cos if i be one, he'll leave... But i knew his reasons are valid enuff... I knew he did it for my good... Many ppl may not believe him... May think it's his fault cos i din tell u guys the story... But no point spreading ppl's story ard... At least i do not want to spread it ard... He's the victim of the entire situation... So m i... We're the victims of heaven... A prank tt heaven played on us... I agreed to leave... But i made him spend the nite wif me as my bf... I wan a proper closure wif him... Tink i'm too OT le... We stayed in hotel intercontinental 10-09 cos i wan time alone wif him wif noone else by our side... I cried every now and then in the hotel... I begged him to let me stay by his side... But he insisted on leaving with the sadness which i could nv nv nv haf forgotten... We reviewed everythg which we had done for the past four months... Al the happie time we spent together... I feel lk smtimes i'm realli childish... I even told him abt my dreams of becoming Mrs Chong... Stupid rite... I dunnoe wat to sae... I juz told him alot and alot and alot... How i gave him the 1st massage... And he massaged me too... We did our secret activity for the last time... Last time i'm gg to do tt in my entire life... Cos it'll remind me of him...
13th August 2006: We parted at my hse at 12.30+... We hugged, we kissed, we held each other hands... This parting is so dramatic... I knew we're onli parting physicalli but emotionalli, we'll be with each other... Alwaz alwaz alwaz...
The entire story if anyone noes abt it will feel it's so dramatic... I tot it would onli happen in television programmes and movies... But it happened to me... It made me devastated and yet need to be strong and happie JUZ FOR HIM!!! But cos it made such deep impact in my life, i'll nv forget this short love and life we share... I dun tink i'll ever b able to find anyone to be comparable to him to b in my life...
DEAR DEAR, i noe u'll read my blog... I wanna tell u, i can choose to be happie and strong... But i'll nv choose to forget u and dun love you... U're my dear dear 4ever...
8/05/2006 12:02:00 AM
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Hahax... Everytime i come in to read my chatters, i'm bound to be sclded... Hahax... Dearest fren, i'm not blogging cos i'm exhausted... And everytime i come online to blog i alwaz juz complain... Lol...Since complaining has been my usual style of writing, i shall continue to complain... An update of my recent life... I've finalli finished my 2nd month in CGH... Let me summarise how my stay has been... In general i tink i made enemy wif 1 person... The person is the sister in ward 18... Lol... As if i can be bothered... I hate her and she hates me too... The onli thg tt i'm too careless about is not to tk care of my back... Kanna stabbed on my back a few times... Haix... Not as if it's veri bad but ppl can't understand all i desire is to get past my 3 years in CGH... As my those in rehab department, i tink i'm still as anti social as ever... Made some friends though... But tink when u made friends, there're bound to be some ppl who dun lk ur character... I tink esp my outspoken character... Hmmm... I'm learning to be selective in things i sae... All these are learning to protect ur own back... My beloved friends who're joining workforce in a couple of months time... Pls learn these, dun learn it the hard wae lk me... Well well... My life apart from work has been boring... M forced to teach my cousin science.... Not that i have anythg against teaching her but y can't ppl understand tt i'm not motivated to teach her for the following reasons:1. It is extra workload for me after having so many tuition resulting in me having to drop 1 of my other student whom i enjoy teaching so much...2. She does not do my work... Sometimes waste my time gg over cos she nv do my work and i can't continue...3. I'm tired... And i need a life other than teaching her!!!!4. Not lk her studies is my responsibility... 5. Ppl force me to teach!!! Tt's wat i hate... U get my sucky attitude as a result!!!If u ppl tink she's so important den 2 bad... Cos i tink if even my mom care abt others more den me, den it juz means tt we'll haf quarrels more often... Can nv understand my mom... Everyone else is more important den her own daughter... I hate this kinda life when i'm inferior to anyone else... And i tink many ppl tink i'm inferior... Everyone has loads of priority in life and i seem to be no where in their priority... Everythg can cut queue and i juz forever haf 2 queue... My life is full of waiting... The moment i wake up i strt waiting... Til the time my dae ends... If u all haf so many priority and i'm not one of dem, let me go... Shut ur mouth up and go to ur priority... Dun hold on to me and dictate my life!!! My life is not meant to wait!!! AND I HATE HAVING TO WAIT JUZ TO GET THE BIT OF PATHETIC ATTENTION!!!I can tell u, i seriously hate my life now!!!