10/27/2006 11:53:00 PM
Friday, October 27, 2006
As many if my frenz would probably noe, i'm going through alot of ups and downs in my life... And there're some greatest fear in my life... But 2dae when i was reading the book on "FAITH" by Pastor Phil Pringle, i felt so encouraged...
I was onli at chapter 3 of the book, chapter 1 and 2 are okie... Not 2 bad... But when i was reading chapter 3 on faith and prayer, i felt the "presence of GOD"... And i felt like he was trying to speak to me and tell me things... And after reading, i realli felt super encouraged and i know something good is coming my way...
The best thing that caught my attention in this whole chapter, half of this chapter i mean is how it talks about us having faith and knowing that what you ask for is gonna happen for prayers are meant to be answered... And even if it's not answered now, it's a test of your desire and faith...
Yeah!!! Feeling so happie 2dae... :)
10/26/2006 12:19:00 PM
Thursday, October 26, 2006
It dragged for so long... The dae had finally come for us to have a clean breakoff... Cos i noe if i persist, i'd lose him not only as a lover but also as a fren... He'd probably dislike me cos of my irritation... Not onli will i lose him, i'll also lose my sense of self... I knew i've been losing it ever since we broke off...
Yes... I muz admit that it's realli all so painful... Thinking back of the times we spend 2gether... Having each other in each other world so important... Looking back at the past msges and seeing all the gifts he'd given me... It's realli painful to see it coming to an end... I'll cry over and over again but i've to learn to let him go... Afterall, did'nt i wan him to be happie...
I noe he's stubborn... I noe nomatter wat i sae won't change the verdict... I juz pray for his healing and happiness... And pray we'll become close fren... At least even if he's not my bf or husband, he'd still be a specially close fren to me... But somehow i alwaz feel it's not possible to be close fren after u have broken off... But i still wanna try...
Ryan, thanks for all the memories you'd given me... You taught me that true love exist... Even though we have to become frenz again, i pray for our relationship/frenship, to be brought to a higher level...
10/24/2006 01:29:00 PM
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Well well, how does our body gain immunity to a particular disease??? Through being exposed to that disease again and again, then our body will grow stronger in fighting wif tt kinda disease... And that explains why children are more susceptible to falling sick then adults cos adults are exposed to the disease more times than children...
Well, i guess i've already built an immunity in him... Previously, i keep msging him, hoping that thru dropping him many msges, he's reply at least to one or two... But recently i realised he'd turned his hp to silent mode cos he finds it irritating and he's choose not to reply cos he feels that if he replies i'm gonna sms him more... Sigh... My plan backfired indeed...
M i realli so irritating??? I'm sorry if i m... I guess time has changed... It'd be sweet to rcved sms from ur gf/bf but since we've broken off, all these strt to become a hassle is it not??? Sigh... I sometimes wonder what if i stop smsing you for a whole day or even a whole week, would you even miss me at all... Sigh...
You're gg for a holidae nxt month and i wonder if i'd get a chance to see you b4 tt... I noe priorities have changed for you... So had it for me, juz tt our priorities have changed in a different direction... I'm less significant in your life and u're more significant in mine... Dumb me!!!
Nevertheless, i'm still so horribly hopeless... M so happie tt i chatted wif u last nite.. .Thanx for still giving me such slight happiness once in a while...
10/19/2006 07:52:00 PM
Thursday, October 19, 2006
i realli din wan my life to turn out this wae... I realli wanted to lead a happie life for you... But it's juz so sad whenever i think of how my joy and my life is dependent on ur smses, every single word you sae and our meeting ups...
I noe u've been veri bz and irritated by ur work these few daes... But i feel so sad when i rcv none smses from u despite me msging you tons of times a dae... I realli feel hurt, forgotten and neglected... I've been finding excuses to cover up all these hurts but ultimately i realised it's not possible to cover them up... I find every single excuse i can get to get abit of ur attention... Even if it means juz 1 msg which sounds so cold... But guess u've already find tt it's a routine for me and no reason for u to entertain...
Whenever i look back at the past msges, tears would still flow dwn my eyes... And i realised i no longer dared to look at them... Yesterdae, i accidentally saw the angel you gave me during our 2nd month 2gether and saw ur msg... I cried lk mad... I realli yearn to go back to those daes... But i noe time won't turn back...
I realised the harder i try to get you back to my side, the further u seem to go awae... And the more paranoid i'd get... I'll strt doing thgs which i'm so afraid tt will make you upset... Even a thg lk writing this blog worries me...
I dunnoe if u're still reading my blog, cos already dunnoe if u're still interested in my life... Have i realli been very much forgotten or have you realli decided to leave me slowly... Nomatter how slow the process is it's still so hurting... For it's nv the speed, nor the quantity, it's how deep the wound would go...
I'm sorrie if u happened to bump into my blog and reading it makes you feel irritated... But i need to ventilate my emotions... Else i tink i'll die... Not lk ventilating my emotions this wae would help... But at least i let it out and i'd feel better for an hour or 2...
10/12/2006 11:16:00 PM
Thursday, October 12, 2006
LOVE IS AN EMOTION
Love is indeed emotional rather than logical... How can anyone ever use logic to decide if he should start or stop a relationship? Maybe the world can but i cannot... Once i'm in love, nomatter i noe wat might be ahead of me even if it means my death, i think i'll still wan to cling on to it. I'm juz a stubborn girl...
LOVE IS INFLUENTIAL
When you start loving a person, even if the person does not know how to love, she'll gradually learn the love from you. It really happened to me... And once she learns how to love, you'll be the person she love most for it is you who showed her what love is... Even if it is to cost her life, she'd cling on to you with all her life... She could then love other people for she has learnt what love is...
LOVE IS REALLI AN ANTI-DEPRESSANT
Why did i use to think that love is a torturous emotion... It's actualli the opposite... It's an anti-depressant... When you has love, you'll feel that everything in the world does not matter and onli the person you love matter most... YES!!! INDEED, U MEAN MOST TO ME...
LOVE FROM YOU IS THE GREATEST GIFT FROM GOD
GOD has brought you to me to teach me how to trust in love... Through you GOD has also shown me how to love... And most importantly, he brought me to the world's greatest love, the love from GOD...
How can i bear to let you go when love is such a wonderful thing... I'd cry and every single disapproving word you said to me... I tink i'm abit lost, do not noe how to love you anymore le... Loving you too much is wrong, loving you too little is wrong too... GOD, teach me how to love him with rite amt... I juz wan to care...