4/21/2005 05:34:00 PM
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Oh 2dae is q a sad dae... Started wif onli slping one hour last nite cos i was at Jojo's house editing vcd for Michelle... So ended up being late for class... Nvm... Juz being late for class... but i'm realli damn tired and daze... And this lesson is suppose to be on LLD exam revision and i almost totally cannot concentrated at all...
Nvm... Den during OTTP 2dae, they returned us our assignments... Wow... I scored super duper well for Jo's module... Surprise surprise... But there's mroe surprises coming up... I screwed up the entire OTTP assignment... Failed the leaflet... And overall onli got a D+... Arghx... It's a veri innocent D tt i got... I shouldn't be getting it... Felt so upset and unjustified... Cried cried and cried... Cried every moment they strted talking abt it... Actualli at last i understood why... Come to think of it...
REalli worried if CGH would take away my scholarship... Cummon, face up to the fact that my COP is quite screwed up... Wonder if i could get a C... It's still a mystery... But it's my greatest wish... Yes... It is... But a B would make me even happier... Mayb i shall be more greedy and ask for more... It might cheng zhen wouldn't it... Let's pray hard that it would... And my behavioural science... Let me get lk a B or B+ too... Pls... Otherwise i'd probably be lk dead cos CGH gonna hunt me... And LLD... I'm gg to work hard for it... Pray i'll get another A for LLD!!! Otherwise at least a B or B+... Hex...
And finally, we presented Michelle our farewell gift... How i hope she'll be free to watch wif us... But i noe she's a bz lady as all of u all noes... Yes... She is a star today so we cannot be selfish and ba zhan her for too long... So ended up we onli watched the lecturers part... Anyway, I believe she'll go hm and see and she'll cry... Hahax... *Evil*
But she's as evil 2dae.... She made me cry... Many times.... U noe auntie visit u den veri sentimental one mahx... Den y muz she alwaz be lk so super duper assuring when i've lost my wae... When i feel so incompetant... When i totally feel lk giving up... U noe wat she told me??? She said i've got tremendous potential... Where's my potential??? I dun c it... All i c is a downward spiral... But tt's not the point... Everythg tt she said is realli juz so touching, encouragin, reassuring...Suddenly juz purk ur own self esteem... And the power of self esteem is obvious... Hahax...
Cry cry cry... 2dae is the crying dae... But i realli tink i appreciated everythg tt i haf in life suddenly... I might not haf everythg but at least i noe i've got smthg... And this smthg is so precious and it makes me feel lk i've got everythg... A veri great thanks to those who made me feel lk i've got everythg... Thanks for being there all my frenz...
4/19/2005 12:17:00 AM
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Arghx... Had a bad time watching "Hai(3) Tun(2) Wan(1) Lian(4) Ren(2)... Wonder if it's onli me or is the show realli so sad... Actualli as a matter of factly the show is suppose to be a romance story and not the ku(1) ku(1) ti(2) ti(2) kind but i really dunnoe wat got over me i strted weeping rite from the 1st to the last episode... Ok... The plot though lame and unrealistic but it's kinda touching to see wat the stupid guy did for the girl... Hmmm... Den they keep cryin.... I easily influenced lahx... C dem cry i wanna cry...
But this show let me stop to think after i think i've neglected my spiritual well-being for few months... The part of the show when i cried the most is when the sister was diagnosed wif blood cancer and dying... Wow... Tt part was realli damn sad k... Den i dunnoe y i strted thinking abt wat if i was diagnosed wif some terminal illness too... I strted to think how lost i would be... But isn't it contradicting??? I never find a purpose in life... I din noe y i lead a life like this... Oh well.... Mayb i'm indeed well-pampered lahx... Hahax... Hmmm... Actualli after some deep tots i tink the reason y i feel scared is cos i'm totally unsure where i'll b after death...
Ok...Tink i'm realli absolutely crazy... But nvm... Since i realised i've neglected my spiritual well-being i should start focusing on it all over again... And i must sae it is most difficult to feel well spiritually... At least i realli need alot of focus to think i'm spiritualli in good health... I noe i'm now in horrible state of spiritual and emotional health...
Anyway dunnoe wat got into me recently... Keep losing my temper... And strted becomin damn mean... Hmmm... Tink i shall reflect on it focus and prevent unhappy incidents frm happening....
4/16/2005 06:32:00 PM
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Guess wat... I nearly died of an heart attack todae when i was at my tutees house... Her mama told me her result for he Mid Yr exam... She decided to gif me a suprise after not seeing me for so long by gettin onli 20+ marks for tt exam...
Reflected on myself for a moment... M i a bad teacher??? Is it my fault to let her get such result??? I realli dunnoe...
I mean i noe i'm nv a patient and dedicated teacher but i would sae i've tried to teach her as best as i can but where did her 20 markx come frm??? God noes... M waiting to c her paper den i'll noe wat happened... Hmmm...
4/15/2005 08:49:00 PM
Friday, April 15, 2005
I'm strting to tink tt i can be veri immature smtimes... Wat's wrong wif me... Dunnoe how old already still lidat...
Hmmm... Let me tell u the story... 2dae we haf seminar in the morning... Oh fine... I'm looking forward to buyin hp in the afternoon though i totally no idea wat kinda phone i wanna buy... Juz get a phone tt can use and i lk it so tt mummy can haf my phone ba.... But wat phone shld i haf ne??? I've left Singapore so long... Now dun even noe there's wat new phone in the market... But nvm lohx... Shall go haf a look den decide ba...
Here we are at PS... Hmmm... Saw 3 phones... 1 of it is the one tt i targetted since dunnoe how many months ago... The Samsung slinding phone... Another 1 is Siemens one... The one tt looked abit lk camera... And the final one i tink is Nokia newest flip phone... So i muz eliminate... Hhax... Seimens one... Hmmm... Realli got my reservations for Seimens phone lahx... Afterall not veri popular brand... Mayb popular among lao bei bei ba... Hahax... Aiyo... Betta dun buy... Imagine if it juz spoil on me den i how... Now left wif 2... Realli cannot make up my mind leh... Compare the Nokaone to Samsung oe i tink i trust Nokia more afterall... I'm their fan afterall... Smmore this phone newer den the other one.... More functions though slightly cheaper lahx... But this phone Michelle got leh... I dun wan to get the same phone as her leh... Not cos i dun lk her or anythg... Dun b mistaken... Cos i dun wan ppl sae i copy her...
Duh... I tink it's realli a dumb tot leh... But i juz dunnoe y it pop into my mind... Is it primary sch's ying(1) ying(3)... Cos in Primary sch i got 1 fren as long as i get 1 thg lk her she'll sae i copy her and quarrel wif me... Din noe i'm so affected tt now i become so childish... Aiyo... Tt's the power of childhood ba...
Anywae, after Joanna talk sense into me i finalli got tt phone afterall... Hahax... Now i'm happily playing wif it.... Yippie... Hahax...
4/13/2005 07:05:00 PM
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
2dae muz b a black dae for me... Sighx... It all strted in the morning wif me not knowing that my splint will be graded todae... Nvm... Tink i decded to kinda gif up on my cplint anyway...
Den had CRD presetntation which i really tink it was kinda screwed up... Tt smarty pants as wat my class alwaz call him asked so much question... Arghx... Smmore ask questions that're just too challenging for me to answer!!! Arghx...
Nvm... Den had my splint graded... And tink my resting hand splint failed me horribly!!! Ahhhh!!! Haix... Luckily the questions asked are not really tt difficult...
And it's not the end of the dae... I'm suppose to study my BS for 2ml's test... Still got so much mroe 2 go... 2nite no need slp le... And y m i here??? I'm here to mark the black dae of the month... It muz b a black dae!!!
4/06/2005 09:57:00 PM
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
I've lost my direction again... Y do i keep losing my direction??? Din i cum into OT wif burning passion and determined to be an excellent OT??? Where has all my dreams and passion gone to... Into the drain ba i guess...
What had led to this drastic change??? Did i sae drastic??? I guess the changes occur gradually one ba... It started with a spark when 1 person started complaining about OT... And there it goes... Plus my feeling of incompetency wondering if i'll make it to treat patient or will i kill a patient... Oh well... Leave it to fate manx... Mayb i'll juz hun(4) shui(3) mo(1) yu(2) and just pass my life ba...
Hmmm... Nxt week is my killer week... Got lotsa thgs due... Got many presentation aso... Wonder if anyone can empathise wif me this pathetic soul... Haix...
Dunnoe y i cum into blogspot aso... Mayb juz to vent my frustration ba...
Anyway, i realised that nomatter how much work i haf i'm losing all my emotions... Is this for good or for bad??? God noes... hahax... Gonna go le...
4/03/2005 10:56:00 AM
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Came back to Singapore yesterdae after many many hours of plane ride... Veri veri tired... So fell aslp b4 i blogged... It's been a long time since i last slept so early...
But I'm havin alot of mixed feelings about coming back to Singapore... But y??? Let me reflect...
Hmmm... I broke so i wanna come back ot a country where i've money to spend... I'm missing my companionship of my cousin and frenx... So i wanna come back to Singapore... I dun wan attachment as usual... So i want attachment to finish... Which means i'll have to come back to Singapore...
Den why do i wanna stay in Japan... Cos i like the culture there... Cos i tink i'll miss the people... Cos coming back to Singapore will mean that i'll becoem very bz wif my work... Xianz...
But nevertheless, i'm back in Singapore... So there's nthg much i can do even though i dun wanna come to Singapore... Tt's it...