I realised that i'm juz gg into a downward spiral in terms of my emotional condition. I'm upset abt work, family, friends. Everythg tt i can pick on i'm upset. Hahax. I tink i'm letting myself dwell into sense of rejection again. Mayb noone has ever rejected me. It is me who rejected myself. Cos i realli tink i couldn't stand my character and who can stand someone wif such intense emotions esp when they're q negative.

Let's strt from work. I've basically given up on CGH. Sometimes i wonder if it's juz about me. Y is it tt all other ppl appear to be surviving fairly well there. Mayb my EQ is juz wae too low and i often offend ppl without knowing. Sigh. Juz feel picked on left rite centre. Even when i did not do anything, people must make assumptions based on their big but empty brain. And it's so tiring to be pretending that i still m okie wif the management though i realli tink they sux big time and that they're not making sense. Well, i'm juz not the guai guai type. Lalala. I've decided to change a place to work and i've also decided that when i go to the new environment, i shall keep work and personal life veri seperate. I shall speak when only utmost necessary. I tink this world is a tiring world to survive in cos people are so difficult to read. U dunnoe when u're placing urself into utmost danger~

And home. I'm juz tired. Tired abt her hubbing on me daily to go home, turn off my computer etc etc. U noe after a full dae at work, i kinda juz wanna tk a break and juz switch off my brain. Everything at work is so brain taxing cos i need to entertain idiots whom i dun feel lk entertaining. And every answer i give must be politically correct. And even if i tink that they're coming up wif the most non-sensical and idiotic idea, i need to hide my facial expression and juz go ya we'll try. Duh. Some things u dun need to try to noe that it will not work. Lk the S-Bar. Duh. It's nthg but extra work and waste of time and energy. Haven we tested it long enuff. I tink the low compliance rate speaks it all. I do not need to further elaborate about that.

And frenz, actualli, not much thg abt fren. As usual, the negative tots tt frens juz come and go.

I cannot believe tt i'm so terribly negative andi tink all these negative thoughts r realli killing me. Cos i tink it makes my dae feel xian and dull and dunnoe wat. Wateva. I juz pray 2ml will be a better dae. Will i suddenly feel more happie. Hahax.