These few daes has been struggling between trying to let go and emotions of not bearing to let u go... Everytime i read the past smses u've sent to me, i cried... And i strted regretting having to let u go... Until i sit dwn and told myself to GOD tk my burden and decide our path for us...

Somehow, deep in me, i do not believe that GOD is going to tk u awae frm me... I'm awaiting for a miracle to appear... I'm awaiting to sense him so that he can explain to me wat he has been doing.... How can a loving FATHER lk him bring me into ur life when u prayed for me and then tk u out of my life 4 and a half months later... I choose to believe that this a a test he's putting us thru and when he feels that both of us haf become strong enuff he'll bring us 2gether again and perform a miracle to cure u... Mayb by being able to let u go would indicate my growth in strength...

To me, all my above thoughts are optimistic thoughts... I do not know how much i believe in wat i've said above... All i noe is ive to leave my faith in GOD and try to sense GOD cos mayb if i m able to sense him, my faith for him will grow even stronger and he'll be more willing to answer my prayer...

2dae i asked GOD if praying 10 times everydae would allow him to understand my desire for u to haf a good health and for us to be together... And i asked if my prayers would be answered if i pray frequent enuff... Of cos i din pray to him 10 times a dae... But i tink i'd pray whenever i tink of u...

Watever i've said above is not an indication of me not being able to let go... But juz an indication of my optimism... I tink i need to stay optimistic so as to find peace and happiness... Leave GOD to deicide our fate for us but yet do our part by praying and turning to him... U muz aso do ur part... Pray, turn to him and tk good care of urself... If u do not do ur part, den how's he able to perform his...

Seriously, tink i'm still in the process of letting go... Dun even noe if i'm makin any sense in this blog... It's juz statement of all my emotions...