It has been a week since our break off has past.... And as usual, there's alot of unknown relationships and grey areas... We keep stepping beyond the boundary cos both of us couldn't bear to let go...

Yesterdae something happened... My mum threatened to kill herself if i dun come home and i was with him... When i reached home, she told me tt a monk told her that disaster would befall on me if i continue to be with him and told me he's no good etc etc etc... I was upset... I dun understand wat he has done to deserve all these humiliation... The onli disaster i could tink of would be me being devastated when he realli leave us for good... And i noe i would be devastated...

So after chatting wif Jean for a long long time yesterdae and tinking thru things carefully, i've finalli decided to let go... And i called him to tell him my decision... We chatted for 3 hrs... I asked him and reconfirm and reconfirm if that is wat he wanted... And he said yes... He told me how he prayed to GOD for a ideal gf and i came along... He accepted everythg about me but juz tt we cannot be together forever... Part of the reason y he chose to let go is cos GOD told him to let me go... Tink GOD is realli tking him awae and does not want me to be hurt... Or GOD has other plans lk he said and we shall juz seat back and watch him perform miracles... I knew i had to leave so that both of us would be hurt less in due time...

Though i decided to let go but it's still a veri difficult process... I'm trying to be like Jean not tink so far and look at the positive side fo thgs... Cos if i tink too far and not look at the positive side of things i'm gonna haf a nervous breakdown...

Now all i hope is if he ever leaves, i hope him happiness... Cos he said he would... He said GOD would tk good care of him... I believe so too... Though i tink i'm spiritually confused... But i'd rather choose to believe that he'd be happie than me not knowing wat would happen... And also, i realised that quality of living is much more important than the duration... It'd hurt me more if he stays by my side but is miserable and gradualli loses his abilities... So i still believe that GOD noes the best for us and would tk good care of us if we leave thgs in his hands...

I tink this blog would shock many ppl... And many ppl would wonder y i choose to believe in GOD when i'm not a christian when they noe me... I guess i can seek comfort in GOD when it comes to this thg... Cos GOD garuntees eternal life and i noe he'd be well taken care of... And onli if i haf faith in GOD and trust in GOD, then will i believe that he'd be happie to leave and we'd meet some dae... It's not lk i'm converting to Christian but i juz wanna seek GOD, c if i can find him... Sense him myself b4 i make any decisions....